20 subtle signs you grew up with a toxic parent

Adulthood is both fun and annoying. We get to do what we want when we want, all while having to balance finances and the many troubles of life. And for most of us, that’s still so much better than staying with our parents.

No one is perfect and neither are the many moms and dads out there but it is undeniable that parenthood is a tricky job. One where many fail and don’t even know it. If you find yourself relating to any of these traits posted by Redditors, know that you are not alone.

1. That constant pressure to be perfect

And in certain cultures, it’s worse. That or maybe mom and dad played favorites. Either way, you grew up constantly criticized despite your efforts, and then shouted at for your mistakes even when not intentionally done.

2. Then the verbal abuse follows

It’s often the case too, whenever you were shouted at for making mistakes. What follows is a never ending outburst full of negativity, and sometimes you got called names.

3. And speaking up is useless

There’s no point in speaking out about how you feel either. Parents like these will turn the narrative around and invalidate the child’s feelings, making the kid feel even worse than how it started.

4. Which leads to them saying the child is wrong

This one’s pretty common too. Since they’re the adults, what they say goes and the child is therefore wrong. And when the child shuts out the world, they won’t notice.

5. Feeling like you owe them everything

Far too often, toxic parents act like they own their kids. They’ll go so far as to make them feel like the kids need to pay them back by dedicating their entire lives to them.

6. Then there’s the bit of hypocrisy

Toxic parents like to set rules without realizing that they themselves break them in front of their kids. It’s like they can’t practice what they preach, but will act like it’s all fine because they’re older.

7. From verbal to physical harm

And when some parents fail to control their anger, they lash out by hitting their child as a means to discipline them. The scars of being physically hurt are carried on into adult years.

8. Pressing and pressuring

While it’s okay to teach kids their personal beliefs, there is a fine line that needs to be drawn, especially when the parents’ actions are different from what they try to instill. How can a child believe in God when this same child is subject to all sorts of abuse?

9. Nothing is ever right

And not just in your childhood years. Some parents constantly criticize their child’s choices well into their teenage and adult years. Of course, there are exceptions, especially when it comes to harmful lifestyles and such. But still, learn to draw the line.

10. Kids don’t process emotions the same way

It is a constant barrage of thoughts and emotions, and sometimes, kids choose to stay in and be silent. But mom and dad don’t seem to care so long as they get what they want.

11. Favoritism kills bonds

Most parents don’t realize they play favorites, not realizing that this scars the other kids since it makes them feel less loved and appreciated.

12. Some kids are afraid to ask questions

It sucked then when you asked a question only to be met with sarcasm or a sermon. No wonder some adults don’t like asking questions. There’s that fear of being reprimanded all the time.

13. Imposing what they want done

Forcing their kids to take up piano lessons, baseball, ballet, and such are also common traits found in toxic parents. It’s like they’re forcing their child to do the things they never could do, or excel at.

14. Parents need to lead by example

Teaching requires a lot of patience and understanding. Traits toxic parents don’t have. So it is a never ending train of criticism and making the child feel like he can’t do anything right.

15. The irony of it all

From the constant criticisms and restraining of a child’s choices, to telling kids to learn and be responsible, a lot of times these toxic parents don’t really understand what they’re doing.

16. Making kids feel far worseA

It really doesn’t matter how the situation unfolded since for toxic parents, they are always right. Now kids under these toxic conditions won’t really know how to apologize so toxic parents will make them feel the need to do so.

17. Kids aren’t robots

As a matter of fact, kids are still learning to process emotions. And there’s a whole lot going on. Funny, it’s like toxic parents weren’t kids once.

18. Kids need to learn how to establish boundaries

Unfortunately, toxic parents will use their authority as an excuse to ignore or not respect a child’s boundaries. They overstep which in itself is already a form of disrespect.

19. It is the mouth that starts it all

Let these comments be self-explanatory seeing as most people can relate.

20. No wonder the marriage didn’t work out

Joining two toxic individuals under one roof is a recipe for disaster. One that is expected to implode. Sadly, the children get caught in the middle and that’s when parents make them choose sides.

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Article Sources:

Toxic Parents

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