Dads. The moment a man becomes a father, he undergoes a personality change. Before you know it, he loves to mow the lawn, grills a mean burger, and wears white sneakers. And of course, he just loves making terrible dad jokes.
It’s almost as if the moment they bring us home from the hospital, they undergo a transformation. Suddenly, they feel an irresistible urge to make puns. As their child grows up, they start getting touchy about the thermostat and turning lights off throughout the house.
Though science hasn’t yet determined when exactly this change takes place, we’ve all seen it in our own fathers. And let’s face it: for all the terrible puns and the annoying jokes, we love our dads just as they are.
Those dad jokes start when we’re children. In fact, they start the moment we’re born. And, as these memes prove, they really never end. You may find that you’re getting old yourself, but your dad is still the same grilling, punning, nose-stealing dad he’s always been.
And let’s face it: as much as we roll our eyes and think about touching the thermostat, would we really ever want them to change?
1. Dad vs. mom in the bathroom.
Here’s another change that happens to every man once he has children: it now takes him 40 minutes to use the bathroom, with no exceptions. Always. Mom, on the other hand, has to deal with children climbing all over her.
2. You can deny it, but it’s true.
Remember when you were a kid and you were acting up only for your mom to reach her limit? She’d call for your dad by his first name and he’d come in and give you this look, instantly causing total silence.
3. Gotta keep dad in a good mood.
I you develop a sudden love for puns, dad might start feeling generous. And don’t underestimate how petty dads can be if you don’t laugh. They’ll remember it for a long, long time.
4. Patrick Star must have had children.
Is there rhyme or reason for the way that dads operate the thermostat? We’ll never know. But we suspect it’s two degrees warmer than it’s actually comfortable. Because he’s the one paying for it and we’ll all sweat!
5. The purpose of grown children – to get your snacks.
He’ll let mom make sure that her baby is OK. You’re in one piece and the car isn’t totaled? Then why aren’t you home with his yogurt already?
6. TV is your dad’s sleep aid.
Every dad has one popular sitcom that he falls asleep to every night. He can watch the same show over and over because he sleeps through the last half of every episode.
7. Gotta beat that heat.
You know dad’s logic on this one. If his crack-of-dawn lawn mowing wakes you up, it’s just because you’re being lazy. Why sleep in when there’s yard work to be done?
8. He knows your life is flashing before your eyes.
Don’t think your dad doesn’t enjoy it just a little bit when he sees that expression on your face. You know, the one when you realize that you majorly screwed up. He’s going to savor it for a few minutes.
9. He’s sat in that thing at so many barbecues.
It’s probably rickety, the seat’s started to fray, and the legs are becoming rusty. Why? Because he’s sat in it on every summer vacation, at every family barbecue, and every Fourth of July parade for the last 20 years.
10. Dads are sometimes the worst.
There’s no one like a father to take the thing you’re sensitive about and turn it into your lifelong crippling insecurity by making lots of dumb jokes at your expense. Love you too, dad.
11. Dad jokes will always make you groan.
It’s not enough that they make jokes — you have to acknowledge them with laughter. At the very least, you should groan so they know you’ve acknowledged how terrible their joke is.
12. Be honest, your dad would make this joke.
An integral part of dad humor is making sick jokes at inappropriate times. This is a prime example. Telling this joke to a room full of dads would earn a round of applause.
13. Get ready for these.
You may not know it but becoming a dad also gets you a membership to the Dad Uniform Store. There, you can buy a lifetime supply of white sneakers, patriotic T-shirts, and cargo shorts.
14. Your dad would put in this effort.
Any father who made these shorts and pulled off this pun would be immediately inducted into the Dad Hall of Fame as the “Ultimate Dad.”
15. Seriously, you better not leave the door open.
This means even lingering too long on the front step. If it takes you more than .001 seconds to get out the door, you’ll be taken to task for air conditioning the entire neighborhood.
16. Cue instant panic.
You might not even have anything bad on your phone but trust your dad to see a slightly crude meme or even the name of someone he doesn’t know. Then, you’ll get teased about your “significant other” forever, no matter how many times you tell him that Brian is just a friend.
17. Even a zombie would knock.
Many dads enjoy reminding their kids that they pay for the house. Apparently, that means they have the right to walk into any room whenever they want unannounced. You get privacy when you pay for it yourself, kiddo.
18. Unite against mom.
It’s rare when the rest of the family teams up against your mom. When they do, it’s the ultimate way of uniting together. Of course, she can still say no. Just because you’re a team doesn’t mean she’s afraid to disappoint you.
19. Like father, like daughter.
I personally see nothing wrong with this. Kudos to that gutsy little girl for not being afraid of Darth Vader’s black cape and deep, scary voice. No wonder her dad is so proud!
20. This looks like the best bath ever.
Yes, it might be silly, but don’t pretend like little kids don’t think this is the greatest thing ever. Bubble baths and playing with dad? Talk about a great day!
21. Those are exactly the reactions that dad jokes get.
Whenever your dad tells a particularly awful joke, you know how it goes: some people chuckle, some people groan, and some people just want to disappear. Dad, of course, is the one who cackles loud and proud.
22. But they’re so mushy!
Before you judge this dad, have you ever smushed a baby’s face around? They have the softest, squishiest little cheeks. They usually think it’s hilarious, so everyone has fun.
23. Dads know how to annoy you awake.
Have you ever been so annoyed that you were willing to get up out of a deep sleep? If there’s anyone who knows how to achieve that, it’s your dad.
24. They’re your problem now!
Every parent loves their children. But staying home with them all day, especially when they’re young, can make them feel overwhelmed. Don’t ever blame a stay-at-home parent for wanting to escape after a full day.
25. It’s not stupid if it works.
That looks ridiculous, you say. Well, we’ll see what you say when the baby has been crying for mom all day. At that point, you’re willing to try just about anything, no matter how ridiculous it looks.
26. I see zero problems with this.
As far as I’m concerned, this little girl’s dad wins major parenting points. That’s an easy and hilarious way to participate in Crazy Hair Day!
27. It’s worth risking mom’s dagger glare.
It’s one of those rare moments when it’s worth risking your mother’s wrath just to have that moment of camaraderie with your father. Well done, kiddo. Like father, like child.
28. His dad fail was captured forever.
If he ever had a chance of this incident being forgotten, it was gone with the proof in photo form. If I was the mother, I would frame this moment of hilarity in the middle of the living room.
29. When you get this look, he’s not joking.
Sure, when he was a kid, he had a mullet and an earring — but you are NOT leaving the house in those jean shorts, young lady!
30. They love doing stuff like this.
Dads think they’re so hilarious. There’s nothing like starting a weekend filled with exhaustion and total annoyance. But it’s all worth it for a hilarious joke!
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