Parents love their children. And they can’t wait to spend time with them every day.
But children have more energy than their parents and, at the end of the day, parents are left exhausted. They just want to get into bed and spend time with each other, relaxing.
That’s what this mom, Kate, wanted for herself. But her son wants something else. He doesn’t want to go to bed so he will do everything in his power to delay bedtime.
Does it work? Did it work?
Here are 30 ways this little boy tried to delay bedtime. It’s up to you to decide if he was successful or not.
1. The mystery of pumpkins
Tonight: Mom…..mom…mom? Mom. Ok, mom. Have you ever eaten a pumpkin? COME BACK. Mom. Have you ever eaten pumpkin seeds? MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!!!!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 2, 2020
2. 3-in-1
Him: goodnight mom. Love you.
Me: love you (leaves)
Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese. …Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON?AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
3. A mile a minute
Him: (yelling) MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?
……
Him: (yelling) IS MAGIC REAL? IS A MAGIC TRICK A TRICK?
….
Him: (grumbling) Well now I am thinking about if the sun is just lava.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 11, 2020
4. Genuine love
Me: Night lovie
Him: Does God sleep? Does God sleep on another planet? God didn’t make me Mom. You made me. With your body. And when I came out we looked at each and it was LOVE MOM. I love wolves. Can we make a wolf? With a collar? With a crystal on the collar? Tomorrow? Wolfs?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 19, 2020
5. Future career
Me: We need to talk about how you threw a rock today. Not good
Him: ….I see the moon
Me: I need you to know it was bad
Him: I feel okay
Me: Throwing rocks is not good
Him: in the story, David hit Goliath with a rock and it was GREAT
Me (to husband): I am losing badly here
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 25, 2020
6. Got ya!
Me: Night love.
Him: Can I listen to your heart?
Me: Ok
**quiet**
Him: it’s beating fast
**quiet**
Him: did you love someone so much that your heart stops beating? did you fall over? did you die? or did you just go to sleep?
Me: no?
Him: SO YOU DIDN’T LOVE SOMEONE?!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) May 1, 2020
7. Keep her safe
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: Mom?
Me: no. I love you but no.
Him: Are raccoons awake right now? Mom. They can’t kill you. MOM. They don’t have sharp enough teeth. MOM COME BACK HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IT IS SAFE I AM NOT AFRAID— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
8. Smart one
Me: Goodnight my love.
Him: Goodnight mom. This is a good.
Me: Yeah?
Him: Yes. I’m going to sleep now.
Me: Perfect. (leaves)
….
Him: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAST MEGALODON?
….
Him: (quietly) I think he lives in the ocean.
….
Him: THE BACIFIC OCEAN! MOMM. IN A COLD SPOT!— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
9. Fantasy concerns
Him: (praying) and thank you God for snakes, Amen.
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: But what is the difference between an ogre and a troll?
….
Him: Are you not answering because you don’t believe in Big Foot?
….
Him: (whispering) ….because he is *reaaaaaaaaaaall*— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 16, 2020
10. This really bothered him
Him: Mom, can we talk about boats?
Me: one thing and then eyes closed
Him: OKAY (deep breath) because pirates are REAL and are alive NOW. But mostly they killed a-chother or were killed by GIANT SQUIDS or monsters that (giant arms) SQUEEZE BOATS AND CRUSH THEM. Sigh. Goodnight.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 20, 2020
11. He knows how to work his mom
Me: goodnight lovie
Him: (waggling eyebrows) goodnight mom. It will be hard for you to leave
Me: (kisses head) I’ll be fine
Him: Goodnight “M” “O” “M”. “M” “O” “M” spells DAD…right mom? (makes direct eye contact)
Me: You know how much I want to correct you
Him: I DO!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 25, 2020
12. “I love him AND you”
Me: goodnight lovie
*he puts his hand on my cheek*
Him: goodnight mommy
Staring lovingly at each other.
Me: did you wash your hands?
Him: nope
Me: were you playing with the garter snake outside?
Him: (huge smile. kisses my nose.) I love him AND you
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) May 2, 2020
13. Just curious
He just yelled “DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH ONE EYE?” into the darkness.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
14. He’s a sponge
Okay I can hear him in the next room. He is talking about Canada being separate from America as “The Civil Wars.” ….as a historian…I’m not sure what to say about my job performance.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 8, 2020
15. Who are you?
Me: love you sweetie. Night.
Him: goodnight. To all the crystals.
Me: okay
Him: who was the first person to ever find a crystal?
Me: goodnight love.
Him: in a caaaaaaaaaaaave with maaaaaaaany secrets.
Me: I don’t know how to explain you to other people.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 17, 2020
16. What a charmer!
Me: you are a wonderful boy
Him: but I don’t know what blueberries smell like
Me: try tomorrow
Him: how do pirates feel when they walk on land? Weird?
Me: not sure. goodnight
Him: dinner tonight was bad. i mean, BAD
Me: NOT NICE BUD
Him: (kisses my nose) but good try, mom
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 22, 2020
17. Turn off the storm
Me: Love you sweetie. Goodnight.
Him: Goodnight mommy.
I leave. Storm begins. Huge crack of thunder.
Him: (from dark) MOM CAN YOU PLEASE TURN OFF THE STORM
Me: (yelling) I CAN TRY
Him: WHAT WILL YOU TRY
Me: LOVE I GUESS?
Him: THAT WON’T WORK….TRY SNUGGLES FOR ME INSTEAD
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 27, 2020
18. Coffee talk
This morning. I’m drinking coffee staring out a window.
He wanders in wearing pjs, sleepy and quiet. Stumbles over, climbs up and lies across my lap with his head dangling upside down over the edge of the chair.
Him: Mom, do you think you really felt prepared for parenthood?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) May 4, 2020
19. Bedtime stories
Night 2 (sorry!)
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: Do you know any myths…any legends?
Me: The legend of the boy who wouldn’t go to bed. Goodnight.
Him: Oh, oh, oh, do you know this legend? Mom. Come back. MOM. It’s about a giant squid. MOM THE SQUID DESTROYED MANY MANY BOATS!— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 5, 2020
20. The stars in the sky
Him: before you go, tell me one constellation of stars.
Me: Orion. Goodnight lovie.
Him: mom, wait! I have to tell you. [dramaric pause] I picked you.
Me: what?
Him: as a baby. I picked you. For my mom.
Me: [melting]
Him: I picked your tummy. You are MY mom.
Me: you win.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 9, 2020
21. Who’s lying?
Me: you did a great job reading. Night love.
Him: why do they call it a li-bary? (library)
Me: night sweetie
Him: Because people lieeeeeeeeeee…. they lie about the li-bary?
Him: MOM COME BACK WHY ARE THEY LYING? ARE THEY LYING ABOUT THE BOOKS OR WHAT?!?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 18, 2020
22. So that’s a yes?
Him: Mom, sometimes I am so scared of the Yeti. Not the Loch Ness, that is fine. But the Yeti..
Me: You’re safe. Love you sweetie. Night. (leaves)
Him: Yes, but have you ever been bitten by a tiger?
Him: But you’ve been bitten by a wolf? A bear?
—
Him: SO THAT’S A YES?!!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 22, 2020
23. Stop growing, tooth!
Him: Night! oh mom, I think this is a new tooth
**shows molar. WHAT. Is that a wisdom tooth? hiding alarm**
Me: oh dear. you are getting older.
Him: OH! can I get my driver’s license?
Me: you are 6
Him: FINE! so can I stop the tooth from growing so I don’t grow up?!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 28, 2020
24. “Okie dokie”
Me: ……
Him: you have to know everything about the kid. about me. about how much I like lying like this. or eating snacks.
Me: well, I don’t think I am ready for all kids. I can just learn you.
Him: okie dokie
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) May 4, 2020
25. From one idea to the next in a flash
Night 3
Boy: Okay mom. Goodnight. Mom, why do you have so much hair? Okay, night. Why is hair made of cylinders? MOM. I want to learn the a-cord-on. A-cordial? ACCORDION. IT GOES LIKE THIS [frantically mimes accordion playing] MOM COME BACK ACCORDIONS ARE MADE OF BEES
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 5, 2020
26. “I see your logic.”
Him: I don’t have a question.
Me: Oh! Okay! Goodnight lovie.
Him: But I put something in the sink.
Me: Wait, what?
Him: I found it outside. It’s part of a lizard tail. By tomorrow, it will grow back into a lizard.
Me: ….I see your logic.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 10, 2020
27. Mom needs back-up
Him: before you try to put me to bed I am talking to you about my pet.
Me: you don’t have a pet, hon.
Him: I knew you would be reeeeeaaaally scared. you don’t even have to see it.
Me: ….. are you telling me
Him: I HID HIM.
Me: (to husband) PLEASE COME IN HERE
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 19, 2020
28. Nothing will work
**He is too cute. I have given up and am attempting to lie in his bed and hope he will fall asleep if I am completely immobile. There is no hope.**
Him: (poking my face) Mom, can we talk about God rising from the dead?
….
Him: (quietly) well, now I have LOTS of questions…— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 24, 2020
29. The trade
Him: Mom, what can I trade you? (shows me my own coin collection)
Me: No lovie. Not right now. Night.
Him: I’m trading you for this. (hands me my own childhood bear)
Me: You’re giving me my own stuff back
Him: A trade! Choose coin or bear
Me: THIS IS A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 30, 2020
30. Do you know Bob?
Teeth brushed. Pajamas worn. I enter his room for the final goodnight.
Him: (leaping off great height onto bed) TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Me: oh geez! okay. ta da. it’s bedtime
Him: mom
Me: yes
Him: MOM
Me: yes
Him: my greatest enemy is named…Bob
Me: hahaha. okay, why not.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) May 6, 2020