When you think of children’s books, violence, perversion, and general creepiness are not things that should come to mind. But, unfortunately, that is what you’ll find in some children’s books. Especially older ones.
And we’ve rounded up some of the worst offenders. What you’re about to see might shock and appall you. You won’t believe that these passages can actually be found in children’s books.
Maybe times back then were simpler and things weren’t so sexualized. That or there were just a lot of sickos writing books for children. You be the judge!
Here are 55 weirdly disturbing children’s books that actually exist:
There are several things wrong with this here. First is that it appears that this boy spent an unclothed night with a sheep. The second thing wrong with this is that it’s telling people they should put themselves in awkward positions in order to avoid being lonely. That can’t be healthy.
I mean, it’s in the title. Is this a story about Winne the Pooh or constipation? They could have named it “Winne the Pooh Gets Stuck.” Just saying.
3) He Put It In Her Mouth
This is a line from an Amelia Bedelia book. It actually make sense when you read the whole page. But someone decided to zero in on this part, put it out of context, and sexualize it.
Are we supposed to be learning about astronomy? It sounds more like anatomy or sex ed. How could the author not have known that kids would be hysterical over the title of this book?
Hmmm….. where do we start. I mean, why couldn’t they show this diagram side-by-side. Or a split screen deal? This looks like beastality instead of a comparrison of bones between two species.
At least this one is outright with it’s puns and innuendos. If you’re going to be talking about something as bloody and painful as periods, you might as well have a good sense of humor about it. I love the mouse stabbing the other one in the uterus. It’s a very accurate representation of cramps.
7) Fingering Your Cat’s Butt
This excerpt is from a book called “That’s Disgusting.” This page is about fingering your cat’s butthole. Yup, that’s disgusting and something we probably didn’t need to teach kids not to do. Have you ever had to tell a kid not to touch your cat’s butthole? Maybe, but I’d imagine a cat would attack the child before this went too far. Look at the huge smile on this kid’s face in the drawing… too far.
8) Pride and Premenstrual Syndrome
Here we have another period piece. I didn’t know that mice menstruate. Ya, learn something new everyday.
That is not a face that’s a butthole. I know a butthole when I see one. No wonder this kid doesn’t want to kiss Aunt Bea. Also, look at the disgusting creep to the left. What the freaking hell is going on here.
What exactly does Pika-play mean here. Can you define Pika-play? The way Charmander is standing makes playtime look Pika-naughty. That’s one way to get someone to stop crying.
Writing a children’s book? Why not include a voyeuristic bear? What is his other hand doing? Nevermind, I don’t wanna know.
12) My First Little Boob Job
This book prepares a child for their first little boob job. Because their second will be a big boob job. Just kidding, I can’t imagine that this book is actually real. And if it is it probably isn’t actually meant for children.
These are really getting upsetting and we’re only on #13. I appreciate the rhyming and Dick is another name for Richard. Lots of people went by the name Dick back in the day. But why does he have to be holding a piece of sausage?
14) Russian Gun Propaganda Book
Not sure if this is an actual children’s book or a joke. It’s in Russian I can’t tell. But it can’t be seeting a good example with all these gun and war going on.
15) Boys on Pleasure Island
This is a scene from a “Pinnochio” coloring book. The part where Pinochio and other boys are lured to Pleasure Island only to be turned into donkies. This page looks real creepy by itself though.
They could of said rooster. They also didn’t have to repeat the phrase chocolate cock over and over again. It’s a bit much.
17) Seamen and Their Spouts
At first glance, this doesn’t seem like anything inappropriate. Then you see the guy on the top deck all the way to the right. The “firespout” looks like a part of his anatomy. Are these things normally found on ships? Are these firefighting seamen?
Remember the Mr. T cartoon?!?! Pretty sure this isn’t a real book though. It would be funny if it was though.
This kid is pretending to be a turd. This is actually hilarious. I can totally see a little kid doing this. Dad looks worried.
This is gross. And apparently it was a first grade homework assignment, according to
VG. The parents weren’t too happy about it.
When it comes to love you should never stop. But when it comes to physical contact you should. This lion might need a lesson in consent. This lioness looks grossed out.
22) Beethoven the Molester
How did publishers allow this to be printed? Look at the disgusting look on this guy’s face. Why is the kid sitting on his lap?
I bet I can tell you what Harpo’s secret is. Is it about his extra close relationship with grandpa? This book is actually about a child learning about his grandfather’s Alzheimer’s.
24) The Horse That Wouldn’t Die
This is a story about a horse that won’t die. I’m confused. Do they want the horse to die?
25) Curious George Gets High AF
We all remember Curious George. But do you remember the time he got high af off ether? Because that actually happened.
Here we have cannibalism in the Polish edition of Disney’s Winnie the Pooh Cook book. This is Piglet’s Pizza. There’s ham on it. He’s a pig… ham comes from pig…. savage.
This is a pretty strange way to teach children about the difference in anatomy between girls and boys. It can also be confusing. Girls do no pee out of their butts. Unless they eat bad Mexican food.
Richard Scarry decided to make Busytown realistic and complete with “hobos.” Apparently, hobos don’t work. They also ride boxcars.
In addition to hobos, there are also cannibals in Busytown. This butcher is a local cannibal. He’s a pig that butchers ham, bacon, and sausage.
This horse is dead meat. Literally. I mean, this is probably what happens or has happened to a lot of horses but this could be traumatizing to some children.
Not sure if this is a children’s book but it’s about dead things. Or people with dead associates. Like dinosaurs, zombies, and the elderly.
Again, not sure if this one is real but you’ll probably find it funny if you’re a parent with a dark sense of humor. Can you think of why? I bet your mom can.
33) The Gas of a Karate Master
Do you have karate master gas strength? This guy does. It can break bricks in half.
This book is more for parents than it is for children. There’s also a version read by Mr. T. It’s something many parents have thought of saying and probably have said to their children.
35) Let Sleeping Turtles Lie
There are some turtles taking a snooze. This doesn’t look too weird to me. This could very well be how turtles sleep.
Why does mommy drink? You… she drinks because of you. This is actually a book for adults.
This is a book that introduces kids to butt plugs. Not really, but it kind of looks that way. What is that elephant leaking anyway?
People used to call cats pussy cats. Then pussy for short. This phrase wasn’t weird until people made it weird.
Don’t touch the cow. Do him. And do him now.
Here we have a Peeping George. He likes to peek in windows. Can you say “creeeeepppyy”?
These people clearly didn’t think about what words they were putting on each page and their relationship to each other. Or did they? Horse balls…
These drawings don’t look weird on their own. But they become suspect when they are next to each other. It’s really Timon’s face that’s making it weird.
Should we be teaching kids to tell each other to “suck it”? They couldn’t have added a few extra words in there? Is he sucking on a banana? Why isn’t he just peeling it?
Beware of those invisible dicks. They’ll creep up on you. Especially in your DMs.
You know kids and their beasts, always getting into trouble. This time they are making mischief in the bathtub. Maybe Lewis’ parents should stop watching TV and be aware that there’s a giant beast bathing with their son.
Maybe this shouldn’t be phrased as a question? Maybe there’s a better way to present this. It sounds really sad.
What happens when the cow needs to be milked? It moos. Then puts it’s butt in your face.
That’s one angry pig. But I’m more concerned about the girl. Why is she starring at the pig’s butt?
Honestly, this isn’t even funny. It’s just super messed up. How horrible.
Just some fellow fags playing soccer. Fags didn’t always mean gay though. So this isn’t a homophobic book. Well, at least judging by the cover. It could be, I’ve never read it.
Yes it’s true. I’m loving the constipated look on this kid’s face. But I didn’t know that apples can poop. The more you know…
This is a alaphabet book for Norweigian children, according to Bored Panda. But that’s difficult to believe. Who the hell knows.
This is a painting from an art book. Behold… the Sucker. Guess what he can do?
Someone pooped on this mole’s head. And this mole wants to know who is responsible. Not sure why he isn’t cleaning himself first.
Remember when tossing salad was just tossing salad? Not anymore. Salad has been ruined and so has this book.