Imagine this:
You ask your children to do something for you. No matter how nicely you ask them, they still refuse. Even if you bribe them, you still get the same answer. So, as a final solution, you send them to time-out or punish them for such behavior. They end up sobbing hard, throwing tantrums, and screaming hard.
As parents, it’s frustrating when your kids ignore you or flat out refuse your requests. However, no matter how frustrating that behavior is, you shouldn’t punish them. Instead, find ways to make your kids listen and communicate your requests better.
Here are 7 tips on how to make your kids listen to you:
1. Make observations.
Adults don’t like being bossed around and it’s the same thing with kids.
When you see them not doing something they’ve been told to do or they’re doing something wrong, state an observation instead of yelling at them or telling them what they need to do for the nth time.
For example, if you see a couple of toys left on the floor, you can just say “I see toys on the floor. What are your plans for them?”
Such a question will give your child the chance to save face and solve the issue on his own. A sound decision-making process and critical thinking skills are things your child will need later on in life.
2. Make sure your kids understand.
You can’t expect a child to follow you if he doesn’t understand you.
To ensure comprehension, try making your child repeat what you said. This technique has been used by doctors to make sure that their patients clearly understand their treatment instructions.
Now, for this, you need to keep your speech short and simple. Make eye contact and calmly listen as your child repeat back what he’s heard.
3. Show your appreciation in advance.
Saying “thank you” in advance encourages children to do good and behave well. It makes them feel that you trust them enough to do the right thing.
4. Limit your commands.
Think about how many requests, corrections, and redirections you’re giving your child in a single day. There’s a good chance that they’ve tuned you out.
When trying to get your kid’s attention, just focus on the big things. Use clear, short, and simple instructions as they are easier to understand and follow.
5. Say yes more often.
A lot of parents are guilty of saying no to most of their kids’ requests. As a result, their kids stop listening to their requests as well.
So, instead of saying a firm no, say yes more often. One way you can do that it by offering a choice if possible.
For example, if your kids ask for chocolate, ask them if they want one now or if they’ll prefer to have 5 after dinner.
You can also agree right away but provide conditions.
If your kids want ice cream, you can say:
“Sure, dear. You can eat it as soon as you finish your dinner.”
6. Avoid negative commands.
Negative commands can be confusing for kids since they require them to stop what they’re doing and think about the proper alternative behavior.
So, instead of saying “Don’t leave your things on the floor,” say “Please keep your things in your closet.”
7. Make eye contact.
If you want to get someone’s attention, you look them in the eye. The same applies to kids.
When talking to them or giving instructions, make sure that you aren’t doing anything else. If possible, stop what you’re doing, lower yourself down, and keep eye contact. Doing those things will make them feel like you’re really talking to them.
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