Have you ever asked your dad for advice and soon after you regretted it? And, not because he told you something too difficult to understand or follow, but it was so ingenious and hilarious that soon became a “Dad saying” in your house.
For better or for worse, our parents are here to guide and support us whenever we are in need of them, sometimes they are able to leave us speechless not only because of their wisdom but also because of how witty and funny they can be.
Here you will find 73 just awesome tweets given by dads to their children (“dadvice”), hoping to help, inspire, and even make them laugh. Enjoy reading!
1. How to make money: by Dad
Some people just have “That Face,” the one that makes people tell them about their problems. Dad’s all about taking opportunities that present themselves. And we can’t exactly blame him.
It’s just like a dad to compare love to bodily functions. But, like most fatherly advice, even though it’s disgusting, there’s also got an element of truth to it.
Starting a new job can be nerve-wracking. Luckily, Dad supplied a vote of confidence. Or rather, he made his child doubt their intelligence for the rest of their life.
I’m guessing Dad didn’t intend to be rude — that is, he wasn’t trying to imply she was fat. He was just trying to tell his daughter what her priorities should be.
Dads can be naturally overprotective of their children, especially as they reach the dating age. But punching at a middle school dance might cause a scene.
Well, that’s not technically what that means, and I don’t know if the cruise line would accept it. But realistically, who else is going to be coming to help you out at sea? Dad is thinking practically.
7. Well, there go my dreams of holding theater curtains down
Every dad has a saying heard by their kids a million times while growing up, but it still never made sense. This is one of those. The meaning is clear, but…a sandbag?
Dads have a unique ability to make serious points but in a way that’s funny. This advice is extremely important — and he gave it in such a way that his child will never forget.
Sometimes, you think your dad’s going to get mad but he surprises you by taking everything in stride. Not only did this dad react calmly, but he also gave some practical advice.
Our parents raised us to think that random strangers would offer us drugs in dark alleyways. The reality is no one does that because, as he says, drugs are expensive.
Scaremongering isn’t always the best way to get through to kids, but you can’t deny this leaves an impression. Seriously, people — just buckle your seatbelt.
We’ll never know the reasoning behind this father’s strange hatred of apples. Apparently, they’re the fruit of the common rabble and he considers himself above all that.
In drivers’ ed, they teach you about defensive driving. But what they don’t teach you is “creative” driving. Oh, wait, yes, they do — in the lesson about accidents and speeding offenses.
Either this dad was hoping to make his daughter smart by osmosis, thereby saving on college expenses, or he was hoping she’d marry a rich guy. Either way, you can’t fault him for thinking outside of the box.
Dads have a way of giving important life lessons in the weirdest and most awkward ways possible. I won’t deny these lessons are true, but I also don’t want to think about them too much.
Some kids aren’t naturally inclined to sports. Regardless, parents should support them. It seems sports ability wasn’t important to Jimmy Fallon’s dad. He just wanted to go home.
I don’t know how to start unpacking this one. Frankly, I have a few questions about how this advice was born. What prompted this pearl of wisdom — or do I even want to know?
If you’ve ever been to college, you know there are two things universal for students: they’re always hungry and rarely have money. In college, you take whatever free food you can find.
Older people often have an odd fixation of having their privacy violated. They’re very protective of their rights. But not using your turn signal is taking it way too far.
I feel like a good middle ground here would be to eat in moderation or wear sweatpants, but that wasn’t good enough for Dad. This begs the question: exactly how much was he eating?
I want to know if he gave any other context to this advice. I’m assuming his warning of “not to be the drunkest” was to save some embarrassment. Alas, we’ll never know the whole story.
This is a rather harsh way to teach your kids that wishes don’t always come true. In true Dad form, he managed to find the most visceral way to say it.
When we were young, our fathers told us to speak to our mothers with respect. But with the changing of technology, the advice from our parents has to change, too. One day we’ll be saying, “Don’t make fun of your mom on the holograph.”
This piece of advice is pretty extreme. It’s definitely on a level above “He’ll put coal in your stocking.” New theory: Santa gets the coal from the houses he burns down.
Sure, it’s important to start a savings account. But ultimately, your money has to go somewhere. After all, you won’t be taking it with you at the end of your life.
You should never swerve to avoid hitting an animal — at least not a small one, like a squirrel. But I get the feeling Dad got himself mixed up between trees and people.
In general, it’s a good idea to avoid smoking — even though not everyone who smokes gets cancer. But this dad’s ideas of responsible consumption might be a little bit off-base.
Babyproofing is a never-ending task, and some kids seem determined to find every tiny object in the house. Where did they find that little screw? You’ll never know.
A better lesson might be to avoid going around naked under a bathrobe, but we’ll give it to him. It could save you a lot of future embarrassment — and it seems as though Dad is speaking from experience.
This is yet another one of those pieces of advice that must’ve come from real-world experience. I feel as though it shouldn’t need to be said, but that’s where we are.
Siblings fight about the strangest things, including flatulence. But parents don’t usually encourage them to blame their farts on one another. How about just saying “Excuse me?”
Something tells me this father-in-law had a bad experience with expensive chicken. Either that or he’s a cheapskate and takes unregulated chicken prices very personally.
The way Dad worded this advice makes me think he was tired of listening to his kids’ complain. He’d rather they commit a murder than subject him to those annoying people by proxy.
Plenty of dads have some version of this, maybe “rub some dirt on it” or “walk it off.” It’s all the same way of saying: “You’re going to get over it because I don’t want to take you to the hospital.”
At first, this reads as a warning to always take responsibility for your mistakes, which is mature advice. But the second line is a real kicker. Sorry, Patrick.
The biggest problem with this “solution” — besides the fact that it doesn’t satisfy thirst — is that you produce less saliva as you get more dehydrated. Dad needs to read a science book before doing that victory dance.
Something tells me that Dad thought long and hard about the way he wanted to give this advice. He settled for a particularly elegant way and seemed pretty proud of it.
