Being a parent is a blessing. Parenting is amazing! But no one said it was easy!
You will never know until you’re in the situation. Just imagine the saying, “You know your life has changed when…going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.” Like, for real?
It’s not to scare you but to get you ready! Continue reading with these tweets from various parents who shared their rants and confessions in life.
Taking care of young children is like being in war. Throw, run, and hide. Yes. Exactly.
How long do you think it’ll take? And we’re talking about deep, deep in the forest here.
3. We get to be people now
Truer words have never been said. Weird that it’s being said by a five-year-old though.
The generation gap is so real with this one. So real.
Next time, offer better choices, Dad. Or no one’s going to come next time.
What do you really want, kid? Make up your mind. Or I’m going to sit in that stroller and you’re pushing me.
7. Preparing to get mad in 3, 2, 1
A parent never panics. They only prepare to get mad.
Schedule it, put it on your calendar. And when the time comes, pray the kids stay asleep and don’t come barging in to the room.
9. The longest movie that never ends
What’s going to happen? When will this end? How does it end? Aaahhh!
Unlike other whistleblowers, even if you “pay off” the kids, they’re still going to tell. Every time.
Can’t we just leave the food out and feed themselves? They have hands. They can do it.
Who said you stop learning when you finish with school? And it’s a classic example of learning from your children, too.
Stop showing off your wet hair and bragging, mommy. We already know you’ve “got it together.”
When it comes to the princess, everyone is her servant. Every one.
15. Death by choking on saliva
Choking on saliva is a much better option than coughing out loud. Dying is better than putting them back to sleep again.
16. Three-year-old operating system
They can be so smart. But why can’t they put on their socks and their shoes the right way and so slowly?
Come on, tell it like it is, mommy. No one will judge you.
Maybe now she really knows how it’s like to be a parent. Crackers will work, too, just to be sure.
19. Well, that escalated quickly
It’s a typical store run. Get yogurt, get cereal, buy a ukelele, and write a song. Normal stuff.
Zombie apocalypse is here. It’s been here for decades because the zombie parents have been around for longer.
Coffee in hand. That’s all that matters.
I said what I said. You got a problem with that?
Having nice things stopped happening when the kids arrived. Or have ten back-up plans.
A gift from a veteran mom to a mom-to-be. You’re welcome.
Those band-aids are a necessity for the youngest. And for the dad and mom.
26. It was only 30 seconds!
What happened? I just closed my eyes!
In a child’s world, 5 minutes is actually 4 hours. And it’ll be like this for the next 18 years.
Slow clapping. It’s a thing.
Flashbacks are strong. Too strong.
Would you do all this? Would you? Hello?
Why are babies so lazy? Come on, Charles, you got hands. Do it yourself!
A tree. A saw. Perfect metaphor.
It’s not that hard. Water, song, potty, fly, animals, tissue, song, watch, repeat 7 times. See? It’s a routine.
34. 5th grade to 12th grade
How can three grade levels exist in the same child? How can this happen?
35. Are you really a parent?
If you’ve never done this, are you really a parent? Be honest.
36. Mom was only breathing
That age has now arrived. When anything you do is embarrassing. Anything.
37. Meanwhile at the grocery…
Take your pick, lady. Any one of them will work. Please?
38. That’s not how it works
You can have a billion dollars in your pocket. It still won’t make your kids have a good time every time.
Just when you thought you’re unbreakable, your daughters comes up with kisses and lots of love. Heart melting.
The inventor must be kicking themselves in the butt right now. If they can lift their swollen legs.
There comes a point in a dad’s life where they don’t question what happened anymore. They just accept it.
42. Welcome to parenthood!
What a great welcome to parenthood! But what are you saying? What do you mean, no clean windows? What’s going to happen with the windows?
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Especially if you want to enjoy that wine.
The mind and the mouth both have their own brains, after all. Sometimes, it’s hard to stop one or the other.
This is the diet of each parent. At least, you don’t need to think of what to eat anymore. And it’s always portion controlled.
Sometimes, to survive, white lies are very convenient. They’ll get over it.
When giving up just makes thing a little bit easier. And less exhausting, too.
Nothing turns a mom of multiple children on than the husband going out with them. Time to bring out the bubbly!
That’s why makeover shows always feature mothers. It never changes.
50. Teachers are the new heroes
Teacher are not paid enough. It’s hard enough to deal with one eight-year-old but twenty kids every day? Damn.
This is what a real haunted house is supposed to be. Not the one with all the ghosts and ghouls. They’ve got nothing on kids.
No matter what anyone tells you, a baby monitor is not an alarm. And there is no snooze button. Ever.
When a woman becomes a mom, hobbies become a little bit different. But it does include running.
Whatchu complaining about? Dad was lucky if he could have pizza once a month back then!
Unfortunately, a baby can’t sit in a plane in their own seats. They need their own mom or dad. So no, you can’t switch seats and leave them there.
Crossing that bridge. That bridge doesn’t exist. That bridge will never ever exist.
57. The work is never done
Kids are cute, yes. But they can be evil sometimes.
It’s already day 3,654. Still figuring it out even if it’s already day 36,540.
It says a lot when a mom wishes she was like her 14-year-old babysitter. A lot.
These are the top 3 remedies. For 2 & 3, refer to number 1.
On the fly, moms gotta do what they gotta do. This is for the greater good of the household.
What’s your typical morning like as a parent? Is it the same?
Moms had grandeur dreams of what kind of mom they were going to be like. That all went out the window when the kids arrived.
Kids expect their moms and dads to be magicians. They never signed up for that.
That guy was probably like the Lego inventor. Wait until he has kids.
66. Do something themselves
Why? Why do they insist doing it, especially when you’re already late?
She’s a best-selling rapper. And her greatest hits are all classics.
Delaying tactics are done for everything. Except bedtime. That’s always on time. That always needs to be done on time.
Any movement counts right? So there’s one more good thing about having kids.
Only moms will recognize these scents. Or seen these scents since they hoard it in bulk.
You’re only six years old, kid. Imagine waking up on Mondays for the next 60 years.
72. She takes after her dad
She’s three years old. And she’s already so much like her father!
It’s only five seconds. But five seconds is a long time.
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Source: Buzzfeed
