Babies are some of the most beautiful creatures on Earth. Fresh from the source of whence they came. They smell good and are absolutely adorable.
Well, some of the time. When newborns arrive in this world, they’ve been through a lot. They were just squeezed out of a narrow birthing canal and were dropped into a new world.
As a result, they can come out looking a little bit squished. Or old and wrinkly. Despite their fresh youth, those newborns can end up looking like little old men. Let’s call them “wise” so we don’t offend their parents!
Here are 75 babies that look wise beyond their years:
1) Who Touched the Thermostat?
Why does this baby look like my dad after I touched the thermostat? It’s like he’s listening to me explain myself, not accepting my plea to alter his thermostat setting, then yelling at me to NEVER touch it again. When this baby stops paying the bills is the day that you can touch that thermostat.
This baby is looking like a swaddled Mr. Magoo. Kid looks like he has years on him with all those wrinkles. He even got some neck sag going on, looking like he just turned 87.
Another day, another dollar for this tyke. You’ve seen that face many mornings in traffic when you look at the car next to you. Hopefully, he’ll like his job better when he grows up.
This baby had too many milks and passed out mid-sentence on the couch after telling everyone in the room how much he loves them. It’s happened to the best of us. Hopefully, someone gets this kiddo to a Milkaholics Anonymous meeting soon.
This baby is definitely a spitting image of his father. Literally. He looks like a 30-something who is tuckered out after a long day of work.
Ahhh, finally… the weekend. Time away from the job at the quarry. Getting his R&R while taking a dip in the pool. Life is good for this middle-aged baby.
7) Heading to the Sock Hop
I’m not getting married couple here, more like a teen couple. In my mind, these two are going to the sock hop. Then they’re going for milkshakes at the soda fountain. Then maybe some smooching at Lookout Point.
This baby looks like he’s pondering his next line to get you to buy life insurance from him. He’s wondering why the last line didn’t work. He’ll get you with this next pitch.
One day this baby will grow into his head. Until then, he’s going to look a little bit like George Costanza. I don’t know why, but this baby just has real strong George Costanza vibes coming off of him
This here baby’s got a case of grandpa head. She has the same exact receding hairline as a grandpa does. Bald on top with a little something on the sides. And it is absolutely adorable.
This kid looks like the head of an organized crime family that just got some bad news from one of his underbosses. It’s not what he wanted to hear. Now someone’s going to have to get whacked over it.
This baby looks like a mom after you just told her you’re not coming to church on Sunday. And she ain’t having it. She better see your butt in that pew on the Lord’s Day.
The chubbiness… I’m obsessed. I don’t know why but this cutie is reminding me of Peter Griffin. It’s the lack of a neck.
This guy looks like your favorite deli guy. The one who’s been working there for the last 15 years and knows how to slice the capicola nice and thin. When it comes to a good sandwich, he knows how to make it nice.
This baby ages about 80 years when he’s angry. He becomes an instant old man. Awww, that little pouty lip though!
“Really? You’re going to wear that blouse Margaret? I can’t… I can’t even.”
Junior here looks like he was just made vice president of the board. He’s real excited about it. He earned this. It was casual Friday so he didn’t have to wear a tie to work.
Meet Susan. She’s a beach bum who lives to layout in the sand and get color while she chain-smokes Virginia Slims. Yes… that is her natural hair color. It gets that light on its own from the sun.
19) Don’t Want to Hear It
Aunt Brenda can go to hell for all this baby cares. She’s not picking up what Aunt Linda’s trying to put down. This baby looks like she’s heard too many of Aunt Brenda’s stories over the years and she’s had it with her.
This baby looks like he’s going to tell you a story about ice cream that used to cost a nickel. Or how he had to walk through three feet of snow to get to school in the winter. Some story that he’s already told you 376 times.
Is this baby about to throw hands? She looks like she’s about to go into Karen overdrive and start fighting MFs. She looks ready for a fight.
Baby want a brewski? This baby looks like he does. And he’s going to drink all 12 of them in one sitting. Just like he does every Friday night.
Shouldn’t this baby be sitting in a rocking chair whittling something? Yelling at the kids in the neighborhood that come too close to his lawn but never actually enter within his property line. Carve me a wooden bird baby!
This kiddo is already good at sending his food back. But that’s the face of a man explaining this to his waitress. Not spitting the food back out at mom.
This baby is down on his luck. He looks like he’s at the end of his rope. Like he has nothing left to lose.
This baby looks like a furious grandma. Look at those eyebrows. And that death stare!
That is the hairline of an accountant. He looks like he needs to spend the rest of the night crunching numbers. And that he needs someone to make him a cup of coffee.
This guy is the little brother. But he looks more like an older brother. That face could past for the face of a 10-year-old at least. He looks like he’s seen and knows some stuff.
Holy crap! This baby looks like a baby normally. But that transformation is incredible. He looks like an entirely different person when he sneezes. Like a curmudgeonly old man.
This is just so accurate. He really does look like he works at a pub. And has is very excited to pour you a Guinness.
That’s hilarious. She definitely does look like she’s ready to have dinner by 4. And wake up at 4 a.m.
This baby aunty looks like she doesn’t approve of the outfit that you’re wearing. Or of your boyfriend. Or your job.
This baby is reverse balding. Look at that peach fuzz. It’s so thick on the rest of his head!
Don’t make her take out the spoon. You mess around, you get the spoon. She’s not afraid to use it on you.
Don’t sit in grandpa’s chair. That’s his chair and he’ll have a fit. Don’t bother him while he’s sitting in that chair.
36) On the Day of My Birth
This baby looks like he’s been seriously disrespected. And someone is going to have to pay. Pay dearly.
This is what you end up looking like when you spend your whole life working the land. You look withered. And weathered.
What’s eating this guy’s shorts? Was his electric bill way higher than he thought it would be? Did his stock fall?
This baby looks like he’s gone to the dark side. And there’s no coming back for him. That or a mandrake.
Oh my goodness! This is just too hilarious. The confused face he makes when he wakes up. Then going right back to sleep. That’s definitely an old man move.
It’s almost inconceivable that this baby looks so much like Wallace Shawn. He looks like a Sicilian man you wouldn’t want to come up against if death was on the line. But all babies kind of look like Wallace Shawn.
After years of work, here he is. Finally collecting. Get that money.
This baby looks like he’ll turn this car right around. Like a dad who has had enough of this kids’ crap. He’s turning the car around.
This baby looks like he’s about to kiss some babies. And shake some hands. That or tell jokes because he kind of looks like Jim Gaffigan.
This baby even has white hair. It’s too much. He’s too young to look that old.
This kid is pissed about being on Earth. He looks like he wants to speak to someone’s manager. NOW!
This baby is fresh out of the womb. And he looks like it was a rough go. It’s definitely aged him.
This baby has stockbroker vibes for some reason. Like he’s gonna hook you up and knows some stuff. Those are definitely stock broker eyebrows.
I mean, I see the resemblance. He kind of does. I wonder if he drives a hard bargain.
I love a baby in a combover. And he does look like somebody’s boss. Technically, he is the boss of his parents at this point.
He’s been following Phish on tour since he was 23 and now he’s 45. It’s been a helluva ride. And he’s still having fun.
Best caption ever. She looks like she’s already chain-smoked two packs of cigarettes and is down $500. Where the hell is that waitress with a drink?
This baby looks like he’s been working the night shift and it shows. He needs a vacation. Big time.
Grandpa got a sponge bath. He did NOT like it. He looks cold.
55) Burning the Midnight Oil
This kid looks like he’s been burning the midnight oil at work. Like he hasn’t slept in six years. He needs a nap.
Don’t let this baby hear you make noise again. If she hears you again, she’s going to throw her slipper at you. You’re gonna get it.
This baby looks like a 50-year-old man that was told he is pre-diabetic. And that he needs to be put on a diet. He doesn’t want to hear it though.
58) 80-Years-Old and 1-Day
Is an 80-year-old? Or a 1-year-old. Hard to tell.
HA! That is so spot on. That baby looks EXACTLY like Newt Gingrich. The resemblance is uncanny.
He’s the one who’s gotta pay for the driveway when it needs to get redone. They’re wearing it out. That face is just too funny!
61) Get Your Supervisor Out Here
He’s going to need you to get your supervisor. Someone needs to right this wrong and put him back. He’s not leaving until you do.
Some of the captions on these Reddit posts are just so hilarious. She kind does look like she could have experienced the Potato Famine. She also kind of looks like a potato.
63) The Best You’ve Ever Had
This baby looks like he’s been cooking this dish for the last 40 years. He’s perfected it. And it’s the best you’ve ever had.
He got caught stealing the bread. But they didn’t find all the food he hid in the Ziploc bags in his pockets. He’s going home with that.
Jeez, this baby really does look like Danny DeVito. That’s pretty crazy. And adorable.
66)Barbara’s Potato Salad
“Raisins. Why did Barbara’s potato salad have raisins? Gross.”
This baby doesn’t want to hear why you came in past curfew. Because you’re already grounded regardless. She is already over it.
She drove that taxi for 30 years. And one day, it was all taken away. The day Uber came to town.
This guy is clearly a ladies man. He knows how to run game. That smirk at the end!
This is the face of a dad. A dad who is waiting at the door for his daughter to come home two hours after curfew. He just watched her get out of her boyfriend’s car and he is pissed.
Meet Harold. He’s been the top salesman at the paper company he works at for 15 years. He loves his job.
Awww, an ancient witch. He kind of does look like she would lure your children into the woods to a candy house. Just so that she could eat them.
73) You Want Me To Eat That?
This looks like a 40-year-old man whose wife is trying to serve him burnt eggs. He looks at her like, “You want me to eat this?” He’s not going to.
This looks like a 30-something’s Hinge profile photo. He’s looking for the “one.” And he’s going to find her.
I’m not getting Al Capone vibes from this kid. But he is giving me some Florida Stanley vibes. Like he should be on a beach with a drink in his hand or carving wooden birds on the porch.
