Ever wonder what life will be like when you get older?
You probably think about living in a retirement community and getting visits from your kids and grandkids every weekend. For millions of elderly people, this is not the reality of old age. In fact, most of them live very lonely lives. One Chinese man was so lonely that he decided to put himself up for adoption.
Han Zicheng had lived a long and full life.
He survived the Japanese invasion, the Chinese civil war, and the cultural revolution. He wasn’t sure he could survive being lonely for the rest of his life. He decided one day that if his real family wasn’t going to visit him, he would find a new one.
So, he wrote a note and left it in a laundromat. It said:
“Lonely old man in his 80s. Strong-bodied. Can shop, cook and take care of himself. No chronic illness. I retired from a scientific research institute in Tianjin, with a monthly pension of 6,000 RMB [$950] a month. I won’t go to a nursing home. My hope is that a kindhearted person or family will adopt me, nourish me through old age, and bury my body when I’m dead.”
Han hoped that someone would find his note and offer him some companionship.
His wife had passed away and his two sons did not keep in touch with him. His neighbors stayed busy with their own children and had parents of their own to care for. He was alone.
He tried to stay busy by riding his bicycle to the store to buy chestnuts and eggs, but he was afraid that his health may fail him at any time, and then, he didn’t know what would happen to him. He had nowhere to go and nobody to care for him.
He might be lonely, but he isn’t alone.
Han is one of the millions of Chinese people who are elderly and without care. Already, 15 percent of Chinese citizens are older than 60. By 2040, it will be nearly one in four. Things have gotten so bad that the government recently passed a law that says that children must visit their parents.
Zhang Yan Feng, a lawyer with Beijing’s King & Capital Law Firm, explained how the law work. He said:
“It’s hard to put this law into practice, but not impossible. If a case is brought to court on the basis of this law, I think it’ll probably end up in a peaceful settlement. But if no settlement is reached, technically speaking, court rulings can force the person to visit home certain times a month. If this person disobeys court rulings, he could be fined or detained.”
It’s sad that the government had to make a law to make kids visit their parents.
You would think that the adult children would want to visit, spend time with, and care for their parents. How can they just leave them along like Han?
The sad truth is that most don’t mean to neglect their parents; they just get too busy with their own lives.
They may make plans to see their parents, but things come up. We can all relate somewhat. There are so many people in China that it can be hard for children to care for their parents when they are trying to make ends meet and take care of their own kids.
It’s sad that there are so many elderly people suffering and without companionship.
Han’s desperate plea for social interaction and love is heartbreaking. These elderly people don’t want to be forgotten. Many of them are like Han and don’t need anyone to care for them physically, they just need to know that they are loved and that they have a family to help them as their health fails them. Han added:
“Elderly people are like flowers and trees. If we are not watered, we cannot grow.”
Hopefully, Han’s sons come to spend more time with him or someone reads his sad note and agrees to help take care of him. He deserves to feel loved, too.
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