Kids say the darndest things, especially when they decide to rename anything they like. Kids view the world innocently and will rename objects, animals, or places with a name they clearly believe it to be. The honesty and innocence can be refreshing and hilarious for all the adults that get to view the world from the eyes of a child again. These new names can make parents hysterically laugh, think about the name harder, adopt the new name or all three together.
Here are 45 tweets from parents that prove children should be in charge of naming everything from now on.
1. Halloween Eagle vs. Battle Unicorn
A crow might not be the size of an eagle but crows are definitely associated with Halloween. Whereas, a battle is just the perfect new name for rhinos. What would you rather have, a Halloween eagle or a battle unicorn.
A friend's 5 yr old saw a rhino and called it a "Battle Unicorn". Can we let 5 yr olds christen new species please?
— Zoe's Zoo (@ZoesZooYouTube) May 30, 2018
2. Person Garden
Her daughter does not know what is happening at a cemetery, but if it really is a person garden we all have to get ready for the zombie apocalypse. There should be no people sprouting at anytime at the cemetery. Her daughter is going to have to wait a bit to learn what a cemetery really is.
My daughter just called a cemetery a person garden. I'm not even sure what she thinks is happening there.
— Broken Puppet 🏡☕ (@java_assassin) June 18, 2020
3. Wrong Kind Of Song
His niece has no shame in her farting game because she is just singing in her pants. Fart is not the prettiest of words. So, singing in your pants is a much more pleasant description of it.
4. Charging The Corn
This generation is being raised in a technological world. Everything has to be related to technology in some type of fashion, even cob holders. Her daughter is waiting for her corn to charge before it is ready to be eaten.
My daughter calls corn on the cob holders “corn chargers” and I think we should just let 2 year olds name everything from now on.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 27, 2018
5. Going Up
Her daughter is going to be devastated when she learns that elevators also go down. Elevators will just have to be renamed again to uppy, downy rooms. Until she learns, uppy rooms they will stay.
Toys R Us might be gone but for generations of children it will never be forgotten. RIP Toys R Us. This child will never get to threaten his parents with their name ever again.
My son calls Toys R Us "Toys Or Else"
— Elita (@ElitatheLibra) November 4, 2012
7. New Name
Some new names are just too good that the entire family takes the new name on. Escalators will forever be dubbed robot stairs for this family. It might even be the new name for generations to come for the Campbell family.
8. Which One?
Chocolate jello has one father questioning his son’s future. Is he an idiot or a genius? We side with genius.
My son calls pudding "chocolate jello" and I'm not sure if he's an idiot or a genius.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 8, 2016
9. When Eating Is A Game
Her son must love video games because he has turned all his actions into video game lingo. When he gets to go to the bonus round there is only happiness. Every enjoyable activity should be forever known as the bonus round.
My son calls dessert his "bonus round" and I think we should all follow his lead.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 30, 2017
10. What Would Dwight Think?
Rainn Wilson knows his son’s answer is the cutest, but Dwight Schrute would probably not find it cute at all. His son calls the ice dancers “finger skaters,” so he must be real confused when they ice skate with their feet and not their fingers.
What's cuter? The ice dancers or the fact that my son calls them 'finger skaters?'
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 9, 2014
11.Are They Related?
Penguins and owls might be two completely different animals for adults but not for one daughter. Penguins are just cold owls. Owls need to up their game and learn how to swim if they want to keep up with their cold owl relatives.
12. Throw Me A Pizza Bone
He eats the pizza all the way to the bone. Pizza bones are one of the only bones that are acceptable to eat, but his nephew probably does not believe that. Those pizza bones need to be thrown away with all the other bones.
13. So Close
Enchiladas is a tough word for one 6 year old. He is close with “chicken ladders” but it is not quite close enough. Children are lucky they are super cute when they mess up their words. The mess up is just another renaming in parents eyes.
We had enchiladas for dinner
Or as my 6 year old calls them, chickenladders 🤷🏻♂️
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) April 30, 2020
14. Your A Wizard
This dad has no problem with aging because his child has officially made it cool. He is only growing into his wizard wisdom with every new gray hair. His three year old turned into the self esteem booster for getting old.
My 3-year-old calls my gray hairs "wizard hair."
I'm not getting older.
Just more powerful.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 27, 2017
15. Budding Genius
This mom is utterly convinced that her child is a budding genius. Every parent believes their child to be the smartest child ever. Once her 4 year old renamed snot with “sneeze gravy” this mom accepted her child’s genius future.
My 4 year old calls snot "sneeze gravy" and I'm pretty sure that will clinch a full scholarship to Harvard.
— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) February 10, 2015
16. Cake Bagels
Cake bagels are way more yummy than regular bagels. The doughnut had a hole in the middle, so it must have been a bagel once upon a time. They just made it more delicious by creating it into a cake. This three year old needs to rename all breakfast food.
This morning my three-year-old called a doughnut a cake bagel so that’s what they’re called from now on.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) February 9, 2020
17. Never Stopped
Some names cannot ever be forgotten, such as cheese pads. That new name is going to forever haunt his daughter because this family will never let her forget it. It is cute when she was little, but when she brings home her first boyfriend and they tell him the cheese pad story, it might be more embarrassing for her.
18. It’s Jazz Name
Instruments have had many nicknames throughout the years, but tooty parp might be a new one for a trumpet. His mom loved the nickname so much, she extended it to all brass instruments. We are not sure that tooty parp will stick for others though.
19. Heard It Both Ways
Recalling a memory does involve remembering, so she was not far off. This daughter just combined the two to create her own new word, remembery.
20. Grass On The Face
This two year old believes facial hair is just face grass. The family thinks it cute but there definitely has to be explanations when their son tells it to others. No one wants to hear about their face grass without an explanation.
21. All In The Genes
Is leg pit a name that runs in these siblings genes or did the older sister tell it to the younger brother? Either way, both children have their mom convinced it runs in the family. It also makes a lot of sense, if we have armpits why don’t we have leg pits?
22. Leg Holders
Her daughter is going to be shocked when she learns that thighs are a part of our legs. Until she learns, leg holders they stay because her mom gets much laughter from the name. Every mom deserves at least one new name that brings her laughter.
*dying laughing* My daughter…calls…her thighs….LEG HOLDERS.
— Shannon Lin (@mrslin) July 9, 2010
23. Never Change
Apple-cado’s are just odd shaped and bumpy green apples for this five year old. One day he will learn they are really called avocados but apple-cado is just too great of a name to correct him. He will have to learn on his own.
5: why is it called apple-cado anyway
me: no reason
— hashtagtacos 🌮 (@VicVijayakumar) June 24, 2020
24. He Isn’t Wrong
Naked trees is a very astute renaming of trees during winter time. He is just calling them like he sees them and those trees are naked. Springtime needs to come and dress those trees back up.
My son calls winter trees "naked trees."
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) December 24, 2016
25. True Feelings Show
Did he rename the store or did his true feelings about the craft store sneak out? His dad might never knows because he agrees with his son either way. The four year old’s mother might have a different opinion about the “crap store.”
My four-year-old son calls the craft store "the crap store." I don't correct him. He's right either way.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 25, 2016
26. Just A Snack
Chicken nuggets will never fill up her son. So, he deemed their name as snack chicken. He expects the main course to still arrive after his snack chicken.
My son calls chicken nuggets "snack chicken" and I think it's high time we all do too.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2016
27. Please, Please, Please
This dad is going to have to stop speeding if he doesn’t want his son to rat him out to the mom on accident. The dad is lucky that please and police sounds awfully close. The dad can just say he is not saying the word right, but he and the son will always know the real reason.
My son calls them "please cars" because any time I speed past a cop he hears me mutter "please don't pull me over!"
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 29, 2018
28. Staying Warm
It is important to wear thick socks when it is cold outside. Thick feet socks and thick hand socks for one kindergartener. This kindergartner has forever left an impression on her teacher and will never be forgotten.
29. Keen Observations
They say children are always watching and listening and this kid proves it. He makes keen observations about what is going on around him and that includes who is drinking what and why they are drinking it. His mom cannot even blame her kid for renaming the drinks because she knows they are true in their house.
30. Bringing Confusion
It is always rough when a child renames something and the parents have no idea what they really are talking about. Flamingo witches scared this 5 year old and her parents had no idea what she was truly scared of. Once they did, they probably could not help themselves from a quick giggle. Vultures are flamingo witches.
31. The Haunting
This child wanted nothing to do with letting the ghosts into the mall. He made his mom enter and exit the old school way, manual doors. Ghost doors are unacceptable.
32. Very Weird
If her daughter thinks limes are weird pickles she might be floored to learn about the relationship between pickles and cucumbers. Her mom could not help but share her daughters name for limes. Everyone needs a good giggle.
— Julia Sugarbaker is speaking (@TheMudlily) March 21, 2020
33. All The Same
If you had to google Macaroni Penguins just know that you were not alone. Who knew that there was a species of penguins called Macaroni Penguins? Her daughter called them spaghetti penguins which is just as silly as macaroni.
My daughter referred to macaroni penguins as spaghetti penguins and why would I correct her they both sound ridiculous
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 22, 2020
34. Stealing It
His four year old’s mistake sparked a new business idea for his dad. If it gets big, his son deserves all the credit. Drunken Donuts must be open 24 hours a day for all the drunken people leaving the bars and wanting their donuts.
My 4-year-old calls Dunkin' Donuts "Drunken Donuts."
I was going to correct her.
Then I realized it was the best idea ever for a bakery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 9, 2016
35. Just One
If one slipper is a slip does she also believe one sandal is a flip and the other a flop? Her daughter was trying to be correct but shortened the word a bit too much.
My daughter calls a single slipper from a pair of slippers a "slip" and I'm never going to correct her.
— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) April 17, 2019
36. Chuck E. Satan
Chuck E. Cheese is a version of heaven for children but it sure is not for their parents. Chuck E. Cheese is actually the exact opposite of heaven for parents. There has never been a parent that believes Jesus had anything to do with the creation of Chuck E. Cheese, only Satan.
3 YO daughter calls Chuck E. Cheese "Chuck E. Jesus".
— Jason Avant (@PetCobra) May 9, 2011
37. The Child Philosopher
Dreams being referred to as “the stories in my eyes” might this daughter’s first philosophic idea. If she said that as a child, she is going to blow her dad’s mind when she gets older. Her new names will only get more complex.
38. Expressing Emotions
Her daughter is only trying to be nice and express her happy emotions. Parents hear all the time when their kids are mad at them. They don’t hear enough when their kids are happy with them. These parents should count themselves lucky.
39. The King
His mom dubbed him the king of renaming because his new names were perfect. He did not just have one new name, he created it for many things. Ambulances should forever be changed to boo boo trucks, just need to fix a boo boo.
40. A New View
This dad did not like fireworks. When his son made new word for fireworks he had to rethink his own opinion though. The dad now almost likes fireworks a.k.a the explosion things.
My son calls fireworks "the explosion things" and suddenly I almost kind of like fireworks.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 3, 2015
41. Laughing On The Inside
His child would have no idea why his dad was laughing about the Christmas hookers. So, the dad had to laugh on the inside. He probably hopes that his son will always call the ornament hangers “Christmas hookers.”
My kid calls those little ornament hangers 'Christmas Hookers' and I have no plans on telling him differently
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) December 4, 2018
42. Keep Her Young
Once a child loses their baby voice it is forever gone. This mom is holding on to her daughter’s last made up word for as long as she can. They will always grow up, so keep her as young as long as you can.
My child still says "brefdisk" instead of "breakfast" and whoever teaches her differently will have never known such a wedgie.
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) September 3, 2015
43. Eat Them Up
All cookies should be renamed to chomp chomp cookies because everyone wants to chomp chomp them. This two year old is smarter than he even knows.
the two-year-old calls chocolate chip cookies "chomp chomp cookies" just thought you'd like to know.
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) January 10, 2018
44. The Honest Truth
His four year old has never seen the microwave be used for anything other than heating up old pizza. So, why would she think it had any other name than the pizza heater. She is just stating the obvious function of it.
My 4-year-old calls our microwave "the pizza heater," and there's nothing to correct because she's right.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2019
45. Wrong Species
If we start saying dog’s have beaks, we should say birds have snouts. Words have all just been made up by someone anyways, so let’s switch it up. Her son is already doing it!
My son calls a dog's snout its beak and I think we all should too tbh
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 2, 2018