Kids have a different concept of what’s going on in reality. No matter how hard you explain that dreams are different from reality, they won’t believe you. They’ll probably feel more confused because of that.

When in a pumpkin patch, kids have this tendency to pick the biggest ones. By making them carry what they pick, they’ll learn to feel more content with the smaller ones. They’ll never choose anything they can’t carry.

Kids don’t get along that well. If you see them being nice to each other and agreeing on everything, be cautious. They’re probably be planning a coup d’etat for all you know.

Kids are hooked on the internet like their lives depended on it. Turn it off and you’ll hear them complain about life in a snap.

Puking and vomiting aren’t things kids lie about. When they say they need to puke, you better believe it. Otherwise, be prepared to take a shower and clean the floor.

Sometimes, kids aren’t lying when they say they put their things back in their proper places. It’s just that kids and their parents don’t have the same idea on where exactly those places are. Parents tend to be exact while kids like to estimate.

If you’re feeling frustrated about your kids, drink wine. If you’re feeling tired of all the chores you have to finish, drink wine. Seriously, there’s nothing a good glass of wine can’t solve.

This is a good tactic for those days you feel fed up. If you find 8 minutes too short, don’t worry. You can always make another airplane.

You don’t need an invisibility cloak just to hide from your children. As it turns out, all you need are clothes that match the furniture. This is pure genius if you ask me.

Being older and bigger doesn’t mean you can do everything. Sometimes, you got to let the younger ones do things. That includes killing spiders.

Don’t give anything to your child without asking what he’s using it for, particulalry if it’s duct tape. Be thorough when investigating and interrogating your kid.

This eliminates jealousy. It also gives them one less thing to fight about. And when there’s less fight, you get to feel more relaxed and less stressed out at home.

This tip can leave your kids busy for hours. I bet you’ll time for more than just one cup of coffee. You might even get to take a nap.

It isn’t always good to have a second child. However, when you have tons of things to do, having extra help won’t hurt.

As much as possible, don’t let your kids sit on your couch without any clothes on. It can only end up with you cleaning up after them.

This dad is a genius. Of course, why steal something dad can’t use? It’s a waste of time and effort.

Sometimes, kids know things. They just don’t know how to process and analyze things. So if they ask you a question, ask them an open-ended question.

This is a good tip to follow when you’re at the park or the sidewalk. If you’re in the mall or grocery store, I don’t think it would be that helpful. You might even end up in a small accident.

Sometimes, playing with kids can drain your energy. If you feel tired but your kid insists on playing, suggest the toy trains and follow this tip.

Once your kid learns that you wrote his favorite book, you’ll earn a different level of respect. They probably won’t even try to make you mad.

That pile of unfolded laundry is the perfect spot for napping for two reasons. 1.) It’s a comfortable spot. 2.) You won’t have to leave your chore just to take a break.

Dads, in general, don’t have the same level of patience as moms do. So when it’s their turn to look after the kids, they do a variety of tactics to keep them busy. If it’s your turn tonight, please follow this piece of advice.

This one is a clever tactic. Unless your kid likes spicy foods, you can get away with this tip.

The only time your minivan will be clean is when your kids aren’t in it. However, since your kids aren’t likely to leave you alone, expect your minivan to be dirty at all times.

The baby monitor will record everything. And by that, I mean every single thing. Don’t show to the camera anything you’d regret later.

On the same note, never get into any agreement with your child that involves you buying things for them. Kids are geniuses when it comes to that. Just try and agree and you’ll end up with holes in your wallet.

This isn’t just a problem with kids. If your wife or husband does the same thing, tell them “I told you so”. And don’t forget to take lots of pictures.

This will only work if you have two or more kids at home. If you only have one child, then consider looking at the other tips on this list.

This one is quite tricky. If you manage to get your child’s attention with a YouTube video, then your next problem will be getting his attention from the computer. If you turn the video off, you’re likely to end up dealing with a tantrum.

The earlier you start, the better. If you put them to bed at 9 pm, they’ll probably end up sleeping at 11pm. By that time, you should have been sipping on your glass of wine already.

You have to cry hard and loud for this trick to work. You have to do your best to beat your child because it won’t be an easy competition.

Remember this if you don’t want to end up with painful feet after. The same applies to Legos and mini toy cars.

Singing the ABC song is good if you’re singing it for the first few times. If you’ve been singing it for 5 to 10 times in a row, it can get annoying. If you’ve had enough, remember to change the last line of the song.

One of kids’ greatest fear is not being on Santa’s list. Since you’re close to Santa, use that privilege to keep your kids well-behaved.

Your kids will always try to outwit you. If you’re on an Easter egg hunt, be thorough in checking your things. Otherwise, you might end up with eggs in your tailpipe.

This will depend on you as a parent. Don’t teach your kids if you don’t want them to realize that you’re skipping pages. Or you can teach your kids to read so you won’t have to read stories to them anymore.

If you’re a new parent, you can learn something from this. If you aren’t planning on becoming a parent anytime soon, you can just use the idea when buying baby shower gifts.

Being a parent means cleaning up after your kids all the time, particularly if they’re still young and can’t clean up after themselves. Investing in a lot of tissue papers will help a lot.

If you value your life, don’t even think about asking a bite of ice cream from your kids. They won’t go easy on you.

Sometimes, parents can get so stressed out looking after their kids. If you are one of those parents, know that chanting to the goblin king doesn’t work. This mom has already tried it and failed.

When you’re with your kids for so long, it can be quite difficult to analyze them anymore. If their reactions confuse you, save yourself and put on your headphones.

Taking care of your kids is already exhausting. Socializing with people you don’t really care about is even worse. If you are having a hard time saying no to invitations, use your kids’ schedule as an excuse.

You’ll lose your credibility if you use the same tone for the same set of words. If you want to keep your authority in the house, you have to learn how to use a variety of tones.

Toddlers don’t have an excellent memory. If they say a promise, they’re likely to forget about it after a minute.

The parents are probably the only ones who will be laughing at a party with live racoons. Kids, on the other hand, will probably just scream and cry at the same time.

Your kids will have to learn how to see things from your perspective. That way, you won’t have to explain yourself over and over again as they grow old.

This is quite clever. However, I don’t recommend showing how it’s done to kids. Before you know it, they’re already lighting Q-tips and setting the house on fire.

I think this dad has had enough of his kids. He’s considering taking them to the dentist just so he could sleep.

You can never have too many bottles of ketchup if you have kids. That’s for sure.

This tip can teach your kids how to look on the positive side of things when they get hurt. It can also teach your kids to be rude and laugh at people who get hurt. It’s still a good tip- as long as it’s done in moderation.

Don’t make it too obvious. Change your clothes before leaving the house and taking your kids to camp.

This is a good idea if you don’t want to have pulps in your kids’s juice. Just remember to put just enough vitamins. You wouldn’t want to overload your kids with them, right?

Apparently, the fastest way to get your kids to wear pants is by putting a pair on your dog. If you don’t own one, it’s probably the right time to consider it.

Kids have a way of sugarcoating things without realizing it. This is one good example.

Apart from video games, ice cream works really well in keeping children still and calm. Give one to a crying child and she’ll surely stop in a heart beat.

Your kids making a mess at home isn’t a case of deja vu. It’s the reality you have to face every single day as a parent.

Unfortunately, cleaning up after your kids is something that won’t end up very soon. Unless your kids grow into adults really fast, you can’t expect them to clean up after themselves.

If you’ve been reading the same children’s book, consider this tip. It’ll make reading a lot more entertaining.

If you have bags of chocolates that you don’t want your kids to see, put them behind your vegetables and fruits. Trust me, they won’t go anywhere.

Kids aren’t the same. Parents are different, too. This is one good reason why you can’t expect all parenting tips to work for you. Parenting warnings, on the other hand, are applicable to every parent.