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An Open Letter To Husbands Whose Wives Seem To Be Angry - Make Sure You're Aware Of This

April 13th, 2018

Even though there’s nothing more rewarding in life than raising a child, it’s not exactly easy, to say the least. Parents are going through a demanding time – especially with newborns or multiple children, and husbands are under the impression that their wives are constantly angry at them.

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Jesica Ryzynski can definitely relate.

“Not that long ago, I was having one of “those” days as a mom. I was feeling bitter and frustrated and somewhat resentful, and yes, angry. My husband came to me and asked if I was ok, and also mentioned that lately it seemed like I was always angry at him”.

“At first I balked at the suggestion. I wasn’t angry at him. Or was I?”

In fact, she decided to write a funny message to all dads and husbands who might be dealing with the ‘angry wife syndrome’.

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She wants to assure men that wives are never really that angry at you and that they love you but lists a couple of reasons why they might seem angry nonetheless. For every reason, Jesica also provides you with great and hilarious advice on how to deal with it. After talking to her own husband about it, she discovered eight possible reasons why your spouse might seem annoyed or grumpy.

“So I thought about it for a bit. And I told him how it makes me crazy that he gets to shower with the door shut, or poop without someone banging on the door as if the house is on fire. I told him how frustrating it is that no one ever wakes him up in the middle of the night to ask how big the universe is, or to demand snuggles or water.”

“I explained how maddening it is that he gets to eat hot food while it’s still hot, and how his pants from three years ago still fit. And the more things I listed, and the more I heard myself I realized that I was, in fact, angry.”

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It turns out that most of the issues are rather small and not necessarily the husband’s fault, but these smaller problems can build up. Luckily, Jesica provides you with some great advice on how to deal with each problem separately.

“Now these are all very trivial sounding issues if you look at one, but when you look at all of them, and you figure in the fact that they are daily events, they do build up over time and begin to become a real problem. And even though these things were not directly my husband’s fault, he was the only other adult in the house. So I started to think of ways that we might be able to deal with some of these issues and help me to be less angry.”

1) She is really freaking tired

“The kind of tired that happens when someone hasn’t slept in years. Your best plan of attack here is not to make fun of her when she can’t form logical sentences, or laugh when she puts lunch meat away in the silverware drawer. She will not be amused. Not at all. Send her for a nap. Take the children out of the house, and preferably off of the property, and let her sleep.”

Admittedly, not sleeping enough can definitely make anyone a bit grumpy – a good night’s (or day’s) rest will do wonders!

2) She probably sat in pee today

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“You can’t fix this. Just be aware,” she wrote.

This is pretty much inevitable when you have younger kids, and there’s not really much you can do about it. Oops.

3) She has low blood sugar

“The last thing she ate was likely a bag of cookies at midnight when the last child finally fell asleep. Make her a sandwich, lock her in the bathroom where she usually needs to hide to consume food, and go buy more cookies. She will need them later.”

While buying more cookies is never a bad idea, it’s no secret that moms usually have to resort to snacks to get their daily nutrition. If you recognize your spouse in this situation, a nice meal would do wonders!

4) In keeping with the food theme, she can’t remember the last time that she was able to sit down for an entire meal or enjoy hot food while it was still actually hot

“Send her out for a meal. Breakfast, lunch or dinner, it doesn’t matter. Do not send any of the children with her. No, not even the really well behaved one. She needs to go alone.”

In other words, Jesica thinks that food is important. Really important.

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5) She hasn’t pooped in days

“Those darling little anti-laxatives you helped to create make it nearly impossible to sit on the toilet. Lock her in the bathroom. Stand guard,” she posted.

It’s clear that this mom uses a lot of humor to back up her arguments, but there can definitely be some truth in here!

6) She hasn’t listened to anything but screaming children and Dora the Explorer for weeks

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“If she hears the word “map” again it will likely be her breaking point. Send her out in the family van alone. She needs to blow the speakers out with her own music while entertaining other motorists with her mad singing skills.”

Who hasn’t been stuck with a catchy children’s song or catchphrase in their head for days? ‘Swiper no swiping’ is probably another sentence that’s all too familiar to parents. Apparently, you just need to let her ‘zone out’ from all the children’s entertainment sometimes.

7) People argue with her all day

“Literally from sun up to sun down and often multiple times in between. Completely self-centered people with no sense of logic. They argue over cups, spoons, clothing, homework, bedtimes, television, bath time and if the sky is blue. Absolutely everything.

“She is bound to get a bit angry from time to time. So don’t argue. Your best plan of attack here is to just agree with everything she says for about the next eighteen years. Trust me.”

While there’s nothing more adorable than the curiosity of a child, we can definitely understand that moms and dads can get tired of answering questions all day. Jesica’s last paragraph seems like great advice to follow.

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8) If nothing on this list appears to be an issue, check the coffee

“You may have purchased decaf by accident the last time she sent you to the store. If this is the case, quietly, and without drawing attention to yourself, grab the proper coffee from the store and carefully replace the ridiculous and highly offensive decaffeinated abomination with real coffee. Do not get caught and do not admit to what you have done. Following these steps may save your relationship.”

If there’s one thing that Jesica wants to emphasize, it’s that coffee is everything. Coffee should be considered a life savior, and the cafeïne definitely helps too. As the woman explains above, decaf coffee is an absolute no-go!

“Above all else, remember that she loves you.”

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Even though these eight reasons can definitely be valid and there’s some good and humorous advice as well, the most important thing is to show some love and enjoy the wonderful journey of parenting.

“She chose you to join her on this crazy journey called parenthood and although she may be too tired and too drained at the end of the day to tell you, she does appreciate you. So hang in there. It’s all worth it. Oh, and a good old-fashioned hug never hurts.”

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Source: Jesica Ryzynski via Love What Matters