Recently, I realized that, for roughly the past 3 years, my relationship has been monopolized by raising children.
For parents with older children, this may not seem like much— but for a younger couple who has only been together double that amount of time, it can really make you reflect upon your relationship.
Last weekend, my husband and I got the rare night out away from the kids. It was the first time in a very long while, and during dinner, he said something that I’ve been thinking about ever since. He said:
“You know, when we get time alone without the kids, I always am reminded of how much I really just like being with you.”
I will admit, at first I wasn’t sure whether to be insulted— but I quickly realized it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is emotionally and physically exhausting; it is confusion, stress, and uncertainty at its core— but, above all, it is an act of selfless love.
Being a parent, especially in the younger years, means sacrificing time, effort, sleep (oh God, lots of sleep) — and, sometimes, your own identity.
We spend nearly every waking moment (and some of the sleeping ones too) brushing teeth, tying shoes, kissing booboos, and getting rid of monsters in the closet. The rest of the time, we’re working, and cleaning, and cooking, and… Well, there are only so many hours in a day.
During these stressful parenting years, you are not always the best version of you. It can be hard to remember who you are as an individual when you strip the ‘parent’ and job titles away. In a relationship, especially, it’s easy to fall into bed beside your partner having barely discussed the details of your days.
It’s hard to not feel anxious, and grumpy, and cranky. Sometimes, you don’t want to give away more of yourself.
I already know he loves me. He proves it to me by putting forth this effort every day. But I needed to hear he still likes me— because I still like him too.
So, here’s the best advice I can offer those of you who are single out there: pick someone you really like to spend the rest of your life with.
Because, in hard times, you already know you love each other— but it’s even more important to know you like each other too.
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