After you’ve been in a relationship for a few years, things start to change. Many of those initial butterfly in the stomach feelings go away and are instead replaced by deeper feelings of comfort and security. It’s a different type of love — the type that comes with familiarity.
The longer you spend with someone, the more you get to know them and all of their little quirks. For some couples, that means learning about each other’s eating habits. For others, it means finally deciding who gets what side of the bed and who turns off the alarm in the morning.
These are the 37 secrets that they don’t tell you about being in a long-term relationship. They aren’t good, or bad, or anything really, they just are. You might be surprised by what you learn.
1. You get to know their family and become comfortable with them.
Meeting the parents for the first time is extremely stressful. However, in a long-term relationship, your partner’s family essentially becomes your family as well. You don’t have to worry about impressing them or making awkward small talk anymore.
2. Public displays of affection are no longer a regular occurrence.
Holding hands is still common. However, you likely won’t be making out on park benches again anytime soon. In addition, you probably won’t be broadcasting your affection all over social media for the whole world to see either.
3. The thought of breaking up doesn’t cross your mind anymore.
In the first few years, you are constantly on the lookout for red flags. After a few years though, you can be pretty sure that you know who you are dealing with. You start to feel more secure with your relationship.
4. People will start asking you when you are getting married.
Part of being more secure in a relationship means other people start to see the two of you as an item. You will likely receive nudges from family members about permanently settling down or making things official.
5. You learn all of the places that your partner is ticklish.
Their ticklish spots and sensitive areas become common knowledge. You use them regularly as a form of teasing or punishment. Although, it’s all in good fun.
6. One person always gets more covers than the other when sleeping.
There is no such thing as a 50-50 split when it comes to sharing covers. One person is always a hog and the other person is always left out in the cold. It doesn’t matter how much you try and compromise about it.
7. The things you own become communal.
There isn’t your stuff and their stuff anymore. It’s both of your stuff now. You’ll probably legitimately forget who the items in your home originally belonged to.
8. You discover how many drinks your loved one can handle.
Everyone has their limit. After a few years, you’ve definitely seen each other inebriated more than a few times. You know how much is too much for each of you.
9. You know how to handle it if a drink limit is exceeded.
Occasionally, one or both of you gets carried away. You learn what to do and what not to do when that happens. It might mean calling a taxi for your partner and sending them home early to sleep it off.
10. Showers can be taken together at the same time.
It saves precious minutes getting ready in the morning if there is only one shower in the house. Although, it doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes, it results in additional extra minutes being spent together afterward.
11. It becomes possible to order food for each other.
You know what your partner likes to eat and they know your favorites as well. If you both aren’t home to place a delivery order together, it’s not a big deal. One of you can take care of it.
12. Someone becomes the dedicated alarm person.
You don’t need two alarms to wake you up in the morning. One will do. That also means only one person has to get out of bed to turn it off.
13. Napping together is often better than going out for a date.
Friday nights used to be a time to go out on an exciting date. Now, you are totally okay with just staying at home together and getting some extra rest. Of course, there is plenty of cuddling involved as well.
14. You know how many slices of pizza each of you get.
There is no more fighting over that last slice like back in the early days of the relationship. At this point, the argument has already been settled. There is enough pizza for both of you.
15. It’s important to make an effort do new activities together.
It’s all too easy to just pop on some Netflix and call it a day. However, it’s crucial that you still go out on fun adventures together occasionally. It will bring much-needed excitement to your life.
16. Bodily functions aren’t quite as taboo to talk about anymore.
It’s still somewhat gross. However, there’s a good chance you’ve been using the same bathroom for a while now. There is nothing that can surprise you these days.
17. You probably joke about being an old married couple.
It’s said with humorous undertones, however, there is a lot of truth to it. You are set in your ways. The relationship is stable and nothing really crazy is happening anytime soon.
18. Grand gestures of love are no longer necessary.
You don’t need to show up with flowers or chocolate every time you meet anymore. Lovey-dovey texts aren’t as common and it’s fine. It doesn’t mean that you still don’t love each other.
19. You figure out how the chores get done.
Ideally, both people contribute. Although, more often than not, one of you does more around the house than the other. There is also the chance that you discover that both of you are equally lazy and no one does the chores.
20. You understand what the other person is saying.
We are referring to what they are really saying. It’s probably different than the actual words. You now know how to decode the underlying meanings of the conversations better than you used to.
21. Body language becomes easily readable.
You can tell when your partner is angry, sad, or happy just by looking at them. They don’t need to tell you how they feel. You already know.
22. When it comes to tidiness, you will be on different wavelengths.
One of you will probably appreciate tidiness more. Cleaning up the home is always more urgent for that person. It doesn’t mean that the other person is lazy, only that they are different. You have to find a way to work it out.
23. You get exposed for things that you used to pretend you liked.
When you first start dating, it’s common to say you like something your partner does, even if you actually don’t. For example, a heavy metal band they enjoy but you think sounds like scratching a chalkboard. Eventually, the truth comes to the surface.
24. Gossiping about everyone you know is standard.
You trust your partner with everything, including the best gossip. There is no more keeping secrets or holding back your opinion. All of the people in your lives become a conversation topic.
25. Hobbies you once thought were boring are now interesting.
You used to think that your partner going fishing was annoying. Now you are right there next to them casting a line on the weekends. Somehow, over the years, you’ve actually grown to like it.
26. All conversations are filled with inside jokes.
You have so many of them. You’ve been laughing and growing together for years. You understand your partner’s sense of humor better than anyone.
27. Alone time is even more valuable now.
In the past, it was possible to get away and do your own thing. Once you start living together, it’s much more difficult. Most activities end up being planned as a couple’s thing.
28. Watching series is a bonding experience.
You used to only have your own favorite series to watch. Now you have both of your favorite series to keep track of. Most of the time you watch them together.
29. Being separate for too long feels weird.
Being alone is a luxury, yet, the opposite is true too. It’s almost unnatural to be apart for more than a few hours. A weekend apart might as well be a year. That’s what it feels like.
30. Talking about babies becomes a real conversation.
It’s not just something you joke about now. It’s a very real possibility. Although, you still want to wait a few years before you fully commit to the idea.
31. You always let each other know where you are going.
If you are stopping to do some errands after work, you don’t just go. You text your partner and let them know. Otherwise, they will be so confused.
32. Both of you are experts on each other’s likes and dislikes.
You know your partner’s favorite color, their favorite music genres, and even their favorite outfits. You also know what they don’t like. It goes both ways.
33. You take a big step and get a pet together.
Around the three or four year mark is when many couples get a dog or a cat. You might even get one of each. Why not? It’s good practice for when you eventually decide to have kids.
34. Past relationships are still an uncomfortable topic.
Although, they aren’t off-limits anymore. You learn bits and pieces of your partner’s past over time. Eventually, it gets easier to talk about it.
35. Taking a good picture together is impossible.
It doesn’t matter how many years of practice you guys have taking selfies together. They will all still end up looking goofy and awkward. You’ll keep practicing anyway though.
36. Fighting is just as painful as ever.
Arguments happen. It’s inevitable and it doesn’t ever get any more fun. However, at this point, you are pretty confident you will be able to work it out. A little argument isn’t anything to break up over.
37. You are head over heels in love.
It’s a deep love, not like the exhilarating primal attraction and infatuation that you felt originally. It’s a long-lasting, real, love. According to
experts, there are four stages — mate selection, romance and falling in love, falling out of romantic love, and finally, true love.
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After you’ve been in a relationship for a few years, things start to change. Many of those initial butterfly in the stomach feelings go away and are instead replaced by deeper feelings of comfort and security. It’s a different type of love — the type that comes with familiarity.
The longer you spend with someone, the more you get to know them and all of their little quirks. For some couples, that means learning about each other’s eating habits. For others, it means finally deciding who gets what side of the bed and who turns off the alarm in the morning.
These are the 37 secrets that they don’t tell you about being in a long-term relationship. They aren’t good, or bad, or anything really, they just are. You might be surprised by what you learn.
