Adults are always complaining about kids and teens being obsessed with their technology, but parents can be just as bad— if not worse. Last November, one mom conducted a casual experiment on technology and parenting. After sharing the results on Facebook, the post quickly went viral, making quite a few parents reconsider the amount of time they spend on their phones.
Brandie Johnson is the mother of Blaine and Rylie, two twin boys. One day, she decided to conduct a mini, social experiment.
“Today I did an experiment, I watched my boys play,” she explains. “As I sat quietly in the corner of the room I tallied how many times they looked at me for various reasons: to see if I saw their cool tricks, to seek approval or disapproval for what they were doing, and to watch my reactions.”
Her results were staggering, and the implications are meaningful.
“I couldn’t help but wonder if I was on some sort of technology what message would I have been sending?” she writes.
“28 times my angels would have wondered if the World Wide Web was more important than them. 28 times my boys would have not received the attention most adults are searching for.”
“28 times my loves would have questioned if they were alone emotionally. 28 times my kids would have been reassured that who you are online is what really matters.”
Interestingly, Brandie’s theory about the effects of distracted parenting seems to hold some weight. Brandon McDaniel and Jenny Radesky recently published a study (via Psychology Today) that examined the effect of ‘technoference’ on child development. Technoference happens when technology interferes with social interaction— like when a parent picks up their phone while playing with their child. Not so shockingly, the researchers discovered that parents who reported the most amount of technoference in their parent-child relationships also reported their children displaying a greater number of behavioral problems.
Brandie ends her post with an appeal to parents everywhere:
“In a world where we are accepted as who people perceive us to be and not who we really are, in a world where validation comes from how many followers or likes we have, in a world where quality time with loved ones is being replaced by isolation and text messages from the other room, I beg you to be different.
“Please put down your technology and spend some time with your family and loved ones. The next generation of children is counting on us to teach them how to be adults, don’t be too busy on social media, you never know who is watching and what message you are sending.”
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