Have you ever seen a mom in a store acting embarrassed because her toddler is throwing a temper tantrum and she is getting mean looks from strangers?
Have you ever been that mom? Anyone with kids can probably answer “yes” to both. So how would you handle it? Would you whisper about how awful the kid is? Would you ignore it and walk away? Complain to the store staff? How about offering a helping hand?
One mom recently posted a question on her blog, Mommas Page. She asked:
“Moms, why can’t we just be nice to each other?”
Of course, she got a lot of comments.
She felt her response needed a video, so she made one. In it, she talks about the time she saw a toddler having a tantrum in a store and the way people reacted to the child and the mother. She said:
“There was this woman who had her toddler in the shopping cart, and the kid was pulling an all-out temper tantrum. Over what? Nobody knows. Nobody frickin’ knows why toddlers throw temper tantrums; they just do. He probably had a wrinkle in his sock or somethin’. That’s why toddlers throw temper tantrums.”
She said people were staring, and the child was definitely giving it all he had to throw a fit. She added:
“It was like the spawn of Satan was coming out of his mouth.”
She explained that the child’s mother had done everything possible to console him, and it was just one of those things where she needed to let him get it out.
When she looked over at a stranger for a nod of sympathy, instead, she got an eyeroll. The blogger continued:
“As though this was putting a dent in her day. This kid in the store was putting a dent in her day. You’re not the one who’s gotta go home with this kid! That poor woman has been dragged through the mill already, and she’s gotta take that kid home! And you’re giving her a look of disgust? What else did you want her to do?”
So, what should that stranger have done?
Momma says it isn’t that hard to figure it out or the be nice. She suggested,
“Give her a look of sympathy. Give her a look of, ‘It’s OK. I feel you. I’ve been there.’”
Sometimes a mom doesn’t need help; she also doesn’t need to know that her kid is behaving badly.
This mom was already aware of that. She has probably dealt with more than one temper tantrum in her life, as have most of us. Parents can try to pretend like their children were always perfectly behaved, but most people know otherwise.
She added:
“So, be nicer to each other. I mean, can you imagine what we could do if we could all just bond together and be nicer to each other? We could be like a gang. Like a gang of mothers. We could take over the world… as long as it was before like 9 PM and not on a school night.”
So, the next time you see a mom struggling to keep her children busy in the store, give her some help or even a few friendly words.
If you have kids, let her know you have struggled with the same thing and that, eventually, the temper tantrums do stop.
If you can’t say anything nice or helpful, just don’t say or do anything. The last thing she needs is something else to get her down and make her stress. Her kid is already giving her a run for her money. Why make it worse?
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