Being a parent can be like a lifelong anxiety attack if you aren’t mindful. First, you begin worrying about making sure that you’re good at keeping your baby alive.
Then, as they get older, you worry about all the things you can provide them and if you’ve taught them what they need to know to succeed in life.
That’s what went through Cassandra Lane’s mind when she sent her son Zeke off to take his senior pictures. While he was all dressed up for his pictures just like his fellow students, there was something that made him stand out from the rest of his classmates.
It was his hands that Cassandra zeroed in on. You see Zeke has working hands.
And seeing the stark contrast between Zeke’s hands and his nice clothes made Cassandra question the success of her role as a parent.
“Earlier this week we went to get Zeke’s senior yearbook pictures. On the way, I noticed his hands. Working hands. Hands that look familiarly like my dad’s work-stained hands and like Brandon’s in the early years of our marriage,” Cassandra explains on her Facebook page.
Cassandra told her son not to worry about his hands since they would only be taking headshots.
However, when they arrived she saw his classmates standing there in their letterman jackets and class rings.
It made Cassandra think about her son’s work stained hands again and it brought tears to her eyes. It made her wonder if she did right by him as a parent.
“Have I given him everything a parent should give to their child as he has grown up? He works out in the heat, 30-40 hours a week during the summer. He didn’t want a class ring or a letterman jacket,” she wondered. “He didn’t get a new car. The mommy comparison game tells me I didn’t show him how much I love him with things. I left there feeling bad about myself and how we have raised our son.”
This episode deeply hurt Cassandra. So much so that she spent the next few days reflecting and crying about it.
She ended up apologizing to her son, but he just laughed at her.
“He said, ‘Why are you sorry? Because you’ve taught me to work hard for things I want? Because I know the value of a dollar?” she explains.
She then talked to her sister about it who reminded her that things aren’t what’s important in life.
Relationships are, “and any shortfalls in my parenting are covered by God’s grace.”
She urged parents to stop comparing themselves with other parents and to stick to their own values instead of the values of others.
“So mama’s, if you’re struggling with the parenting comparison game, just know that God gave you the babies you have because he wanted you, YOU, to be their mama. Not someone else,” she said. “I am beyond proud of Zeke, who has taken his brother shopping for a canoe today, using his money that he earned in a vehicle that he fixed with his own hands and gas he paid for by himself. I’m not ready for Zeke to grow up, but I think he’s well on his way.”
Cassandra’s post ended up going viral and was shared more than 47,000 times! You can see her original post below.
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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10216699012291959&set=pb.1360861616.-2207520000.1534553699.&type=3&theater
