When you’re married, typically the holiday season involves spending time with each other’s families – as well as creating your own memories together.
But what happens if you divorce? Most might feel that if you part ways, then your traditions will also come to an end, including celebrating the holidays as a family.
However, some people choose a different path.
A well-known mom named Kristina Kuzmic shared her “not-so-average” story on Facebook about how she and her ex handle life after divorce. Since then, it’s been warming the internet’s heart.
Divorce can be life-changing for more than just the couple, especially if kids are involved. It can also be hard on other family members too.
Kristina explained what happened in their situation when it came to her in-laws.
“My ex-husband’s parents obviously weren’t thrilled about me divorcing their son. Soon after the divorce, I drove to my in-laws’ house and had a very long and open and difficult and awkward and beautiful and complicated conversation with them. We decided not to point fingers or blame or judge. We just talked about the most important thing: the kids. We decided to put our differences and our pride aside and focus on what really matters: family, forgiveness, love.”
There was another conversation with her “ex” mother-in-law that Kristina will never forget. In fact, it helped shape their future.
“I remember one particular phone call early on, while things were still really tense between their son and me, his mom said: ‘Well, if you’re not technically my daughter-in-law anymore, then from now on you’re my daughter.’ And they have treated me like one since.”
Despite Kristina and her ex-husband moving forward in their lives, Thanksgiving is still a holiday their families share together. They’ve done it for a long time too.
“Today was another Thanksgiving spent at their house. I’ve always been welcome. Once I started dating my current husband, I assumed the invitation to Thanksgiving would stop. But no. The invitation was extended to him as well. It’s been like this for years now, all of us getting together for the holidays.”
It might not be how most former couples spend their holidays, but for Kristina, the scene is beautiful.
She described in her post:
“Today, we once again ate together as one big family. Today, my husband helped my ex-husband’s mom set the table and clean up, as he does every year. Today, I listened as my ex-husband and current husband discussed work and football and parenting. Today, I watched my ex-husband play superheroes with my son from my second marriage. Today was about all the stuff that really matters and not about the unnecessary drama we humans tend to create.”
According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of U.S. marriages end in divorce. Those who’ve been through one know there are a lot of issues that can arise.
“None of this divorce, remarriage, co-parenting stuff is easy. In some ways, it’s the hardest part of my life. But the hard work and our “kids first, egos last” formula has been worth it. So, so worth it.”
After Kristina posted her inspiring story on Facebook the first time, it went viral.
Just recently, Kristina decided to repost it in time for the Thanksgiving holiday (they’re keeping the tradition alive this year too). She also explained:
“A lot of you have been asking me for details regarding this story… how did we get to this point, how is my current husband okay with hanging out with my ex-husband, how do we coparent at times when we completely disagree, etc. There’s an entire chapter in my book where I delve much deeper into this part of my life, and I hope it will help some of you … (And I also want to make it very clear that this might not work for every family, and that’s okay! Just do what’s best for your children in the situation you’re in.)”
Kristina Kuzmic’s book is titled, Hold On, But Don’t Hold Still and it’s currently available for pre-order. It’s set to be released in February of 2020.
No two families or situations are alike, but hopefully, more experience peace this holiday season!
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