Even though Rebekka and Randy Hauskins have endured a pain that will likely never fully heal, they have found a way to channel that pain into something to help comfort parents who have gone through the same thing that they have.
“With the irreplaceable loss of our daughter, we decided there needed to be something good that came from this horrible outcome,” Rebekka explained.
Their daughter Hayden came into this world as a stillborn in July 2010.
So, the couple started a charity named after their daughter that will help parents of stillborns pay their hospital delivery bills.
“My wish is to not be defined by the great sadness that I feel but to be a better person because of the experience I have been given, no matter how unwelcome this experience is,” Rebekka writes on the charity’s website.
Not only do parents have to live with the pain of losing a child, but they have to be reminded of this pain during birthdays, holidays, and other special days that won’t be spent with their children.
Hospital bills also serve as a reminder when parents are forced to write a check to pay for the cause of their grief. The Hauskins came to the realization of how difficult this was when they were required to write a check every month for $77 for a year to pay off the $1,000 bill.
“It was something [Randy] had to consciously write a check for every month – no matter if it was a year later… He sill was writing that check and it hurt every time,” Rebekka told Today Parents.
That’s why Rebekka and Randy started Hayden’s Helping Hands, a non-profit that helps pay delivery bills for parents who delivered a stillborn baby in Oregon and Washington.
“As the founder of this non-profit, I am determined to keep Hayden’s Helping Hands mission alive through the memory of our daughter,” Rebekka wrote.
The organization pays up to $1,000 towards every delivery bill for stillborn babies in honor of the amount the Hauskins had to pay. They also honor the name’s of each stillborn child born at their charity events and offer families emotional support.
So far the organization has helped 43 families pay their delivery bills.
Brian and Kathleen Paulsen were among those families assisted by Hayden’s Helping Hands.
“It’s difficult as a bereaved parent to talk about your family,” Brian Paulsen said. “It sparks uncomfortable conversation when you consider a lost child among your tally of kids. Hayden’s Helping Hands tells the world Alexis existed, and it is vastly therapeutic to see her name at their events. It’s fair to say our interaction with this organization was the time and place where our healing process began.”
You can learn more about the organization at www.haydenshelpinghands.com.
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