There was a time when young men and women were pushed to get married and have children. Tradition, culture, and even religion played their part in such mindsets to the point that arranged marriages were practiced.
Nowadays, many have chosen not to have kids. Marriage is still there but the idea of raising their own is no longer appealing. To be fair, some make valid points. Check out these entries from random folks who gave reasons for not having children.
Don’t get me wrong
“I explain it to people like this – you know that feeling you get where you just can’t wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don’t have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own.”
1. Minus the part of instilling discipline
“No – I never wanted kids in any concrete way. I like kids, i have relationships with my nieces and nephews -this is absolutely fine for me.”
2. Maybe it’s not too late
“I’m 40 I regret it. I can’t imagine how horrible I’ll feel at 50.”
3. Kids would have changed their world
“Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though.”
4. He stayed true to himself
“Hispanic Guy here, close to sixty years old, no I don’t, the fact that I chose to stay child free is very unusual in my culture, and I originally did not intend to be child free I just avoided it having children because I knew I was not really ready, it just progress from there, still, now I know that most men are not entirely ready when it happens, I think I would been a great dad, still I have absolutely no regret!”
5. 65 doesn’t feel like 65 when you’re single
“At 65 I have to say I have no regrets. I made the decision early in my life and I stuck to it, glad I did!”
– wtfwfm
6. A career driven couple
“My wife and I married when we were in college. After graduating we started our careers and some time later we wondered if we weren’t missing out on something, like children, and decided No, this is great, let’s keep going like this. That was 30 years ago and it’s still great and we still keep it going.”
7. But they still have each other
“Wasn’t by choice, but yes. I’m happily married and I worry about what will happen to my wife when I die. She’ll be alone. Otherwise, it’s fantastic.”
8. He had a prophetic vision
“51 here. Never really thought I would make a good parent so I chose not to have any. I’m glad I didn’t. Would hate to see what kind of world they will be living in 10-20 years from now.”
9. These are a few of her favorite things
“I’m child-free, retired and happy. How happy? Julie Andrews spinning on a mountain top happy. I have nieces and nephews (and now their kids) anytime I want to relate to kids.”
– Adddicus
10. She’ll have to try it to believe it
“I work in education so I feel similar. I raise/ have raised enough people’s kids at work. I don’t think I have any energy to even think about adding my own in there. How coworkers can go home and parent after a long day of teaching, I’ll never understand. At the end of the day I am peopled out and just want to sleep.”
11. She’ll fight for her niece and nephew though
“I’m almost 50 so I’ll chime in. I never wanted kids, just never had the urge. But I wound up helping raise my niece and nephew after their mom, my sister, died in a car accident when they were 7 and 5 respectively. I didn’t have the full time, but split housing them on weekends while their father worked and his b*tchass wife didn’t want them around. I had them every other weekend and about half of each summer for years. They’re now 21 and 19, so I wound up as more parent-ish than aunt. They were a handful so I’m glad I didn’t have any of my own, it was exhausting enough being a part-time parent substitute and, of course, I wish their mom hadn’t passed away. Full time parents, you’re awesome, I couldn’t do it. At least their dad gave me money for all the time I took care of them, sharing my sister’s social security benefits so I could feed and clothe the kids and give them some fun activities and camps.”
“I love the hell out of them, but still glad I didn’t have babies of my own. They’re good kids, I love them to death, but they’ve also broken my heart a fair few times acting up, making dumb decisions, but all kids do that. I’d beat the a** of anyone who messed with my niece and nephew.”
12. One is never too old
“Not one bit, and with my medical and other problems, I know I made the right choice.”
13. A woman’s confession
“I’m in my 60s, happily married for 30+ years, and without children.”
“Most of the time, I’m happy about our decision. Sometimes, my husband and I both wish that circumstances had been different and that we had someone that we could count on to be there when we get old.”
“However, our reasons for not having children still stand.”
“We both felt the world was moving in a direction that can’t be sustained. Research on global climate change wasn’t part of the picture, but ecologically unsound practices were.”
“We’re both from families where there are plenty of children and grand-children. So, our genes will be represented, without more taken from the available resources.”
“We both endured teasing about our physical appearances and didn’t want our children to suffer the same.”
“We’d both been exposed to more than average levels of radiation and didn’t want to risk it.”
“Personally, I was concerned about being a good parent.” (My husband, on the other hand, would have been amazing)
“By the time we were in a position to support having children, I felt I was too old. I’m the child of a 40-year-old mother who had 5 children before me and 1 after — and although I would never have told her this, I really felt that some of us didn’t get the time and energy that her eldest got. I didn’t want to do that to another being.”
“So, instead of having kids, we participated in helping those already here, in a number of ways. In the end, we wish circumstance had been different, but in the main, do not regret our decision.”
14. Time means acceptance
“I wanted children but it didn’t happen for me. I had regret for years but now am at peace. I am 64”
15. Living carefree was her mindset
“Absolutely not. Knew by my twenties I didn’t want to be a mother. Never had a biological clock go off (it’s a myth). Glad to have had a life free of reliving school bullies, math homework, and most of all, of having to be responsible.”
16. Such a strong lady still
“I don’t necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn’t in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least.”
“So yeah… I have regrets.”
17. She makes a good point
“I’m 57 and do not regret it. My husband thought he wanted kids when we were in our early years together, but now he is very happy as well that we never had any. It’s allowed us a more free, peaceful, and debt-free life. The flexibility to make life choices we couldn’t otherwise make is so much better.”
“I also don’t think that people should have kids just so they have some sort of insurance policy in old age. It’s wrong to bring other people into the world with the expectation that they’ll serve you when you need them and, right now, I can’t imagine any child is grateful to be brought into this world with what is surely coming due to climate change.”
18. As long as there’s someone around
‘Yeah same, it took me years to really come to terms with this whole “I completely lack a desire to have kids” thing. First i thought I would magically develop the desire when I got older, and then I thought I was broken in the head, and then I thought I needed to just “talk myself into it”, or have a kid and hope the feeling came. But I’m in my mid-thirties now and still don’t have ANY desire to have a child. People always ask “why” I don’t want kids. Like, I have 100 reasons why. But the most important reason is literally “because I don’t want them”. As in: “I don’t WANT them”. As in: it is simply not something I actively want. Why would I force myself to do something that I have no natural desire to do. Seems like a good way to mess up my life and some poor kids.”
19. Like hitting the jackpot
“No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he’s10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn’t even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we’ve been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!”
– ZubLor
20. Could have been Mrs. Scrooge
“57 years old and childless. I don’t regret it at all. I sincerely believe that I would have been a piss-poor mother. I’m an extreme introvert, and seeing my sister with her sprogs clinging to her all the time, wanting something or other — food, attention, a toy, whatever — and calling to her, mommy mommy mommy, convinced me of the wisdom of my decision. If I had had children, I would have been driven to suicide or homicide in short order. My sister’s kids are grown into wonderful young adults, and I love them to death, but I need lots of alone time to remain sane, and you don’t get that with kids. If I’d had them, I might have become one of those horrid humans who feed their kids Benadryl to make them sleep, just for some peace and quiet. Childless is better for me.”
21. Good plan until she needs diapers herself
“Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other peoples’ kids are great. Mostly because they are other peoples’.”
“When people ask “Who will take care of you when you’re old” I tell them that when I’m 75 I will adopt a 40 year old.”
22. Priceless decision
“I’m 52 and I’m in bed watching the morning sky over the ocean with a mug of tea and a book. Quiet music and no one is demanding cereal or needs a diaper change or the car or to sleep in my bed.”
“Later, I will walk around a museum without a stroller and a screaming, hungry, wet baby or a gloomy preteen. Yes, there would be times that the kids would behave, but what’s the percentage? BI will cook for one, not one vegan, one who only eats chicken nuggets, and another who will burn water if I let them near a pot.”
“I’ve never regretted my decision ever.”
23. There’s still time to change their minds
“My wife and I chose long ago not to have children, but always left it open for renegotiation. We’re 40 now and feel absolutely no regrets about not having children. Still feels like the right choice for us. Hopefully, we’ll still feel that way long into the future.”
‘Lots of folks ask us questions like, “who will take care of you when you’re old?” or “what if something happens to your spouse?” No judgement, but to us, those have always felt like pretty selfish reasons to have children.’
24. The world holds so many surprises
“My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learnt that the whole “well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you’re older” line is complete bullsh*t. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets.”
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