Cherie Ayrton knew she was having twins before her first ultrasound.
Twins run in Ayrton’s family—her younger sister had twins, and she also has twin cousins. Ayrton’s oldest daughter was also supposed to have a twin, but sadly, she found out at her eight-week scan that the baby had no heartbeat. At her twelve-week scan, Ayrton learned her body had absorbed the twin.
The New Zealand resident had a strong feeling she was having twins again, and when she got to her ultrasound, she learned she was right. Ayrton was also thrilled to learn she was having twin boys. She had two daughters, and she was excited to give them two little brothers.
For the first 12 weeks, Ayrton and her husband didn’t tell anybody about her pregnancy. They were worried about losing one of the twins again.
At her twelve-week scan, Ayrton’s doctor told her the babies were some of the healthiest she had ever seen. This gave Ayrton the confidence to tell her friends, family, and 30,000 Instagram and Facebook followers about her pregnancy.
Ayrton and her husband also decided on the twins’ names: Tiger and Johnny.
For the next five months, Ayrton’s pregnancy progressed well. But then, on Christmas Day 2017, Ayrton started to worry something was wrong.
Two days later, Ayrton went in for her scheduled ultrasound scan. Tiger appeared on the screen first, and he was moving around and wriggling happily. Then, the ultrasound technician moved to Johnny. Her face immediately fell.
“She stopped scanning and said to us, ‘I’m so sorry.’ Three words that completely broke my heart and changed my life forever. Johnny’s heartbeat was undetectable, and he was measuring slightly smaller than Tiger. My worst nightmare had become my reality,” Ayrton wrote on Love What Matters.
Ayrton had to carry her pregnancy to full term, which was extremely hard for her. But she had to do it to protect Tiger. The doctors told her she was lucky they were fraternal twins—since Johnny was in his own sack, he wouldn’t poison Tiger when he began to ‘break down.’
Over the next four months, Ayrton both looked forward to and dreaded each of her ultrasound scans. She loved getting to see Tiger grow, but it broke her heart to see Johnny breaking down.
On May 2, 2018, Ayrton gave birth to Tiger and Johnny.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiRRE-Jlb57/?taken-by=cherie_ayrton
It was a very emotional day for Ayrton—she was welcoming one son to the world and saying goodbye to the other. Ayrton and her husband decided to have Johnny cremated, and they sent him to a nearby funeral home.
“On May 7 we picked up Johnny’s ashes and took him home,” Ayrton said. “The sense of relief for me was huge. But my heart was still shattered. I felt empty. I had my beautiful new baby, but there should have been two.”
When it came time to do Tiger’s newborn photos, Ayrton knew she wanted to involve Johnny in some way. She talked to her photographer, Sarah Simmons, who suggested including Johnny’s ashes in the photo. Simmons placed Tiger in a cradle with a blanket connecting him to Johnny. The photo showed how the two will always be part of each other’s lives.
Ayrton was blown away by the beautiful photo. It was the perfect way to commemorate Johnny.
Simmons entered the photo in the prestigious Portrait Masters International Photography Competition. She won in the Newborn Category, and she also won Best Photo Overall out of about 7000 entries.
The photo has now been seen by people all over the world. Everyone who sees the photo is moved by the touching way Simmons illustrated Johnny and Tiger’s bond.
Ayrton hopes sharing her story will help others who have gone through similar experiences.
“I will always feel like I have something missing, and that’s my son. Johnny James Tiger Ayrton. I want people to speak his name. I want him to be acknowledged. He was created. I carried him. I birthed him. I love him.”
Ayrton and Simmons’ incredible photo has helped so many people who have gone through similar experiences. If you’d like to learn more about Ayrton and her family, check out her Instagram page.
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