Dr. Gary Chapman, the brilliant mind behind the book “The Five Love Languages,” made a striking observation.
Even though parents deeply love their children, many kids don’t always feel that love.
Why is that? Chapman believes it’s because parents might not be “speaking” their child’s unique love language.
The Five Love Languages Explained
Love languages are the ways we express and receive love.
Chapman identified five distinct love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch.
Imagine these as different dialects.
If parents aren’t fluent in their child’s primary dialect, the child might not feel the love, even if parents pour out affection in other ways.
1. Physical Touch
This isn’t just about hugging or kissing.
It’s the warmth felt when a parent holds their child close.
It’s the most instinctive way many parents show love.
Studies have even found that children who experience more physical affection grow up to be emotionally healthier.
2. Acts of Service
Think about the everyday things you do for your child: feeding them, tying their shoelaces, or helping with homework.
These might seem mundane to you, but to them, it’s a clear sign you care.
It’s all about doing things they can’t do for themselves yet.
3. Quality Time
Kids cherish the moments when you play with them or read them a story.
To them, these aren’t just activities; they’re memories.
Chapman says it best: “The child has your undivided attention, and nothing is more important to him.”
4. Giving Gifts
Remember the joy in a child’s eyes when they unwrap a present?
Even a small token can mean the world to them.
It’s also a chance to teach them about gratitude.
5. Words of Affirmation
A simple “I love you” or “Great job!” can boost their spirits.
Your encouragement propels them forward when they take their first steps or read their first words.
While all these love languages are vital, one resonates with almost every child.
Joshua Terhune, a licensed mental health counselor on TikTok, shared a fascinating insight.
He asked kids what made them feel most loved.
See the video here:
@kintsugi_counseling When does your child feel loved by you? Answered by a child therapist #therapy #therapytiktok #playtherapy #parenting ♬ original sound – Joshua Terhune, LMHC
A whopping 95% had the same response: playing with them.
You might think kids would want grand gestures, like vacations or the latest toys.
But no, their answer was consistent and simple: play.
Terhune explained, “Play is the language of children.
They might not always have the words to express themselves, but they communicate volumes when they play.”
Mr. Rogers, the beloved children’s TV show host, once said, “Play is really the work of childhood.”
Terhune agrees, adding:
“It’s how kids make sense of the world. When you play with them, you’re speaking their language, helping them understand their surroundings and feel closer to you.”
Love is a universal emotion, but how we express and perceive it can vary.
By understanding and speaking your child’s love language, you bridge the gap, ensuring they feel cherished and understood.
After all, isn’t that what love’s all about?
To learn your child’s love language, click the video below!
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