How many different social media accounts do you have? If you’re like most of us, you at least have a Facebook account if not several others as well. If you’ve abstained for the most part but you have children, they at least probably have multiple outlets like Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and others. Although the social landscape is shifting to become more and more digital-media oriented, the question of what these apps and platforms are doing to us as human beings remains a concern.
After all, how good can it really be to spend so much time in front of a screen? While we’re not saying that being on social media is always a bad thing, there are certainly limits to set—especially when it comes to children who are particularly young. For concerned parents, there may be lots of good reasons why you should keep your middle schoolers off of social media until they can consume it responsibly.
If you’re not convinced, here are 11 reasons why your middle schoolers shouldn’t be on social media.
1. Social media was ultimately not designed for younger children.
Studies have shown that teen brains are not fully developed until about the age of 25. In particular, the prefrontal cortex—responsible for higher functioning and decision-making—needs plenty of time to develop. Unfortunately, it’s exactly this part of the brain that social media may have a detrimental effect on (particularly when it comes to impulse control).
2. It is ultimately a medium designed for entertainment purposes.
While it’s hard to think of a world before social media existed, these technologies are a very recent development in our lives. Perhaps more insidiously, they are also primarily a cover for marketing information to be collected from whoever uses them (as recent Facebook-related scandals have proven). As with anything entertainment-related, striking a balance is important.
3. Social media can lead to less emphasis on face-to-face meetings and social skills.
Needless to say, the ability to be around others, make eye contact and read body language are all skills important to success in life. Social media can be particularly addictive because we can get interaction with others without the “work” that these other things entail. Although these technologies are new and it remains to be seen how they will affect us, teaching kids to be present with others is never a bad thing.
4. Spending too much time on social media can lead to alienation from their family.
Although teens are often more engaged in their own social lives than they are with their family’s, it remains important to teach them about the importance of family in the long run. Social media is always good for a quick distraction but it also allows kids to develop and curate their own online worlds that their parents may have no access to whatsoever. Putting limits on these behaviors can help keep them engaged in the “real world.”
5. It may encourage unhealthy expectations for friendships—and a focus on quantity over quality.
Although the temptation of any social network is to grow your followers or your friends, not everyone needs to market themselves as a product to sell to an audience. Moreover, the idea of “collecting” friends or acquaintances is not necessarily helpful in adult life. After all, how many truly “close” friends do any of us have? The answer is probably not in the 1,000s, despite what Facebook may want us to believe.
6. Excessive social media use may lead to a loss of potential in the long run.
While there are plenty of reasons to share our hobbies and interests with others online, social media can sometimes become an end in itself. Rather than developing our own skills and talents, we move our life online and neglect our own growth, seeking status and influence for their own sake rather than as connected to something else. Though this is certainly not always the case, it is a problem behavior to watch out for.
7. Studies have shown that social media is addictive.
Though addiction science is still expanding every year, social media represents a disturbing new shift in the way our brains have developed. Studies from MIT have shown that smartphones can be particularly addictive and that teens can grow to be “dependent” on these technologies for their mental wellbeing. Although smartphones and the apps on them can be powerful tools to help us live our lives, becoming dependent on them at a young age is not advisable.
8. Social media presents a distorted view of the world and of success.
If you’ve spent any time on Instagram, have you noticed what some of the most popular posts are? Though there is obviously variety in any medium, some of the most popular content involves near-impossible beauty standards and material wealth. While having high standards is not always inherently bad, the issue is that the view we get of the world from social media has been carefully curated to leave all struggle and negativity out. Overuse of these platforms can make us forget how hard success is to achieve—and that our lives are not actually as rosy as they seem online.
9. Nobody wishes they had started using social media sooner.
Ultimately, social media can be an enormous time suck that takes away from our other interests and hobbies. There’s a parable that says that on their deathbed, nobody wishes they had worked more—most people say they wish they were more present, that they told people they cared about them more or that they wanted to spend more time with friends and family. Even if the damages of social media are overstated, it’s generally not conducive to any of these positive behaviors.
10. Excessive use of social media platforms can lead to depression.
For anyone who has heard the phrase “compare and despair,” consider how most of us use Facebook! Although we like to stay updated on people’s lives, we often log on and see other people’s success, other people’s families, other people’s new jobs… and wonder where we rank in comparison to them. This process of constant comparison can lead to isolation, which likely can lead to depression. Reporting has been done on this trend—and it’s best to warn your children about it ahead of time.
11. It can contribute to an obsession with celebrity.
In the past, our celebrities were mostly limited to athletes, movie stars, models and famous musicians. Now that social media has democratized the world, virtually anybody anywhere can be a celebrity for almost any reason. Although the ability to be recognized for your own achievements is a good thing, it’s important to teach our children that celebrity isn’t a value in and of itself—but that might be a difficult lesson to teach if they spend too much time online.
Do you let your children use social media? If so, how do you deal with these challenges? Tell us in the comments below.
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