Raising a child is tough. For a couple, it can be difficult— but for a single parent, it can be downright overwhelming. A few years ago, an anonymous single dad took to the social media website Reddit to ask for legal advice regarding his ‘deadbeat’ ex. Little did he know, however, everyone was about to take her side.
In the post, the man described how he and the woman had not been dating for long when she found out she was pregnant.
From the get-go, she made it clear she wanted an abortion. However, because the man wanted the child, she went through with the pregnancy.
“Even after the birth, she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical and education [sic] decisions.”
The man went on to say that the woman pays more than the court-ordered amount of child support every month.
“Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she’ll pay support. It’s been this way since our son is born.”
He said he is exhausted and burnt out from being a single parent and that he’s starting to resent his son.
He even attempted to bring the mother back to court to make her split custody, however, the judge refused.
“I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn’t and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can’t force her to look after him.”
“Do I have any legal remedies here?” he asked them.
People went nuts.
Most of the Redditors could not believe what they were hearing, giving the father an instant dose of reality. User Byte73 quickly pointed out the man’s hypocrisy:
“I’d say she’s a good mom. She was clear what her terms were for having the child that she didn’t want. You agreed to those terms. She’s paying child support and by what you’re saying, she is paying more than she has to. Out of the two of you, she is the one who has the kid’s best interests at heart. You either need to do your part like you agreed on or give the kid up for adoption and put all three of you out of your misery. Because she wanted to abort the child, only kept it because of your insistence and is doing the share of the work that was agreed on, I really don’t think that you have a leg to stand on, legally speaking. I’m sorry that you’re not finding parenthood to be the fairytale dreamland that you thought it would be, but it was your choice and you have to live with it.”
Another user, Zarbi92, also clapped back:
“So let me get this straight. You resent the child you forced someone else to bring in to the world under the condition that you be the sole caregiver? You want to force someone who DOES NOT WANT anything to do with this child to share caretaking? First off, why would you want to damage your child like that by forcing them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them. That doesn’t make you a very good father at all. Second, why are you calling her a deadbeat? How can you call someone you forced to give birth, under the condition that she has nothing to do with the child, a deadbeat when she pays MORE than the required child support? And third, no. The courts will not force someone who wants nothing to do with a child to take care of them other than financially, because that could endanger the child.”
One user, referencing the man talking about the mother going to the gym, said:
“Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I’m also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym!”
Yes, it seems this man is upset that the woman is doing exactly what she told him she would do. In a comment, later on, he says he didn’t think she’d actually go through with it.
What do you think? Is this woman out of line— or is Dad just having a hard time dealing with what he signed up for?
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