As soon as you enter the world as a child, you start to realize that you are special; there is nobody else on the planet who looks, feels, or thinks exactly the same way as you do.
As society has progressed, parents are making efforts to educate their children about different ethnicities, cultures, and identities; but, if that’s the case, why is there still such a stigma surrounding visible disabilities?
On July 16th, 2017, Stacey Jackson Gagnon, an advocate for embracing differences, posted a heartbreaking story to Facebook.
Stacey and her husband have 6 children, 4 of whom are special needs. They are also in the process of adopting another.
One of her children has spina bifida and uses a wheel chair, another has had a traumatic brain injury, one requires a feeding tube, one has craniofacial abnormalities, and their prospective adoptee has limb differences. So, Stacey is not a stranger to stares or rude behavior from children and adults alike.
While Stacey, who has a degree in education, generally takes these encounters as an opportunity to educate people about disabilities and differences, on July 16th, 2017, her son Joel experienced a display of unacceptance that completely broke her heart.
The mother took to Facebook to describe the experience, writing:
“Today hurt. We went to a new church because our oldest son was speaking about his camp experience. The church dismissed for children’s church and I walked my three youngest back to the meeting room for children. As we walked in the room, there were four tables set up filled with kids. The minute we walked inside, the room became silent and every child stared or pointed at my son, Joel. Joel was born with a cranio-facial impairment. He is missing an ear and some bone structure. I know he looks different, but today hurt.”
Joel was absolutely crushed. Stacey describes his reaction, writing, “He had buried his head in his arms because you cannot hide in plain sight. My heart sank and the room remained silent as I walked back to Joel.
“I touched his shoulder and he raised his eyes shiny with tears and a face red with shame […] I held him in my arms during church and he drew ‘Joel Loves Mom’ on my palm. Tears welled in my throat.
“My beautiful and loving son deserves so much more than stares and pointing.”
According to the World Health Organization, craniofacial abnormalities include jaw deformities, malformed or missing teeth, defects in ossification of facial or cranial bones, and facial asymmetries. The most common examples include oral clefts, such as cleft lips and palettes.
Kim Tiemens, a social worker with the Craniofacial Program at The Hospital for Sick Children (SickKids), tells About Kids Health,
“I think people don’t realize how important the stigma is. You’re always exposed; your teeth are affected so your smile is affected. Cleft lip and palate are known, but a lot of other syndromes are rare and not well understood.”
As a result of Joel’s heartbreaking experience, Stacey is issuing a plea to parents everywhere:
“Teach your children that many people look different […] Explain that it is not okay to stare at someone that looks different. It’s not okay to point. Teach them that my boy is the same on the inside as your child is […] Teach your child that a beautiful person is found with the heart, not the eyes.”
Since being posted, Stacey’s message has been shared over 18k times, with comments supporting her and her son.
Please remember to educate your kids about disabilities.
Everybody deserves to belong.
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