Bedtime is a battle, picking out clothes are a nightmare, and getting them to clean their room when they don’t want to… forget about it. Once our strong-willed children get something in their heads it’s hard to get it out, but as it turns out, their unyielding nature may be to the key to their future success.
So, their strong wills might be something you want to celebrate.
Studies show that strong-willed children who are independent and defy authority go on to become educational over-achievers and high-earning adults.
The American Psychological Association conducted the study in 2015 and observed children between the ages of 8 and 12-years-old age. According to TIME, they were evaluated on things like conscientiousness, entitlement, and defiance.
Researchers met up with these kids 40 years later to see what kind of adults they turned out to be. Those deemed as rule breakers or defiant of authority were found to be the best non-cognitive predictor of high income as a grownup.
Makes sense… right?
These kids do not take no for an answer, know what they want, and push until they get it. The study found that their success may be attributed to their competitive nature in the classroom, being more demanding as adults, including during salary negotiations. They could also be more willing to fight for their own financial interests, even at the risk of pissing off annoying friends and colleagues.
The study also brought up the possibility that these people could be doing something unethical as adults to get these larger salaries.
Unfortunately, this information doesn’t make it any easier on the parents of these strong-willed children.
“What my experience has shown me is that defiance is always a symptom of something deeper occurring,” says Maureen Dawn Healy, author of “The Energetic Keys to Indigo Kids”, according to Psychology Today. “There are these core needs for sensitive children such as the need to be treated fairly that when that gets ‘triggered’ they may act defiantly or very insensitively such as sassing you back.”
She says that the key to dealing with strong-willed children is to make sure there is open communication so that kids can explain with they feel they aren’t being treated fairly.
Parents should try and understand where their child is coming from and help their child to understand where they are coming from.
“Being able to love children even when they are acting defiantly and poorly is the great job of many adults. I am reminded of that saying: Those that are the hardest to love need it the most,” Healy writes.
“I find this especially true when working with highly sensitive children because they are deeply aware, perceptive, oftentimes gifted and quick to respond to life in ways that work for them—and sometimes that don’t. Our role is to help them learn how to manage their sensitivities, grow their gifts, learn skills of success and become the wonderful (and sometimes positively defiant) beings they came here to be.”
So good luck parents. Whenever things get tough you can always think about how it was all worth it when you’re in your 60s living in a house on the beach that your kid bought you
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