40 Hilarious Tweets Summing Up Life With A 4-Year-Old

Monday: Loves broccoli

Tuesday: Hates broccoli. It's gross. How can you feed this to me? Oh the humanity..

My life with a 4 year old…

— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) July 26, 2016

1. Uncomfortable Undergarments

What would you do if your child suddenly decided that they didn’t want to wear certain items of clothing anymore? It puts parents in a tough spot. Try explaining to a 4-year-old why wearing clothes is important and you’ll quickly see what we mean.

Apparently my 4yo doesn’t “believe in underwear anymore.” Which chapter covers this in my parenting handbook?

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) October 14, 2017

2. Picky Eater

When it comes to simple foods, any variation on the norm is a call for arms. That’s the mind of a toddler for you. They see seeds on bread and it might as well be something from another planet.

After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread:

“This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 1, 2017

3. Poor Presentation

Kids often get really accustomed to having things presented in certain ways. For example, the positioning of food on plates. If you mess it up, they will instantly notice.

Hell hath no fury like a 4yo whose apple slices are on the wrong side of the plate.

— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) September 27, 2017

4. Missing Book

If you lose something, it’s best to be as descriptive as possible about what you lost. That way it makes it easier for others to help you find that thing. Although, unfortunately, four-year-olds often lack the correct terminology for the job.

4yo: Can you help me find that book with the pictures and the letters and all those colors?

Looks like my Friday night just planned itself.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 6, 2016

5. Toilet Difficulties

Potty training can be an extremely challenging ordeal for kids. There is a lot of learning involved. Even once you think that they’ve got it figured out, the toddlers still find a way to mess it all up.

4-year-old: "Mommy, I accidentally flushed the potty over and over and the pee-pee water flowed everywhere, so I ran away."

Happy Monday!

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 6, 2017

6. Sticky Mess

It doesn’t matter how many showers kids take. Somehow, they always find a way to end up getting dirty again. It always baffles the parents when they discover it.

Say, "Why are you sticky?" 53x today…

Congratulations. You now know what it's like to have a 4yo.

— Travis Bone (@FinallyHeSleeps) April 1, 2016

7. Life Jacket Fun

If there are unused outfits lying around the home, you better believe that kids are going to try them on. Playing dress-up is one of their favorite activities. Moms don’t really know how to deal with it.

The 4 yr old is wandering the house in a life jacket, crying b/c it's clipped. He also cried when I unclipped it.

We don't even own a boat.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 18, 2017

8. Debate Topics

Adults typically have debates about politics and science. However, four-year-olds often have different topics in mind. They like to debate subjects that are much more relevant to them.

My 4yo was discussing what's better between Hello Kitty and My Little Pony and I actually had an informed opinion on it. This is my life.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) July 14, 2017

9. Familial Love

It always warms our hearts when our kids tell us that they love us. However, before jumping to any conclusions, it’s important to make sure we completely understand the situation. What if they aren’t actually talking to us?

4yo from the other room: I love you, Mama.
Me: Aww, I love you too!
4, angrily: No, that was my doll saying it to her mommy!

— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 30, 2017

10. Biting Brothers

It’s hard to punish a four-year-old, especially when they are so hilarious. That’s what one dad found out after his two sons were involved in an unfortunate biting incident. All he could do was laugh.

Dad: *angrily* Why did you bite your brother?

4yo: I DIDN’T BITE HIM, I squeezed him with my teeth.

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) December 14, 2017

11. Backward Clothes

Putting clothes on correctly can be very difficult. It often involves a lot of tears and a lot of stress. However, at the end of the day, it’s actually a pretty good bonding ritual between parent and child.

4yo put her underwear on backward twice in a row so she cried in my arms and now we’re eating cupcakes and I think this is practice for when our cycles sync up someday.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) October 4, 2017

12. But Why?

Kids are great at asking why. They will repeatedly ask it over, and over, and over again. If you need a good response to the question though, look no further than The Simpsons.

My 4 year old: " But why? But why? But why? But why? But why?…."

Me: pic.twitter.com/DdCyZh9aMK

— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) August 30, 2016

13. Sandy Shoes

Keeping the house clean can be a huge challenge when you have young kids. In fact, it’s pretty much impossible. Between the dirt, grass, and sand, there is almost always something to track indoors.

I'm pretty sure my 4yo took the whole sand box home in her shoes.

— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) November 18, 2017

14. Acquired Tastes

Toddlers like foods that are simple. Think chicken fingers and french fries. Once you try to introduce novel flavors into the mix, tempers in the house can rapidly rise.

COOKBOOK: The whole family will love these delicious flavors of fall

4 Y.O: It tastes like deer poop and shark poop and every kind of poop

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) November 7, 2016

15. Just Watching

Four-year-olds really like showing off. They just want to make their parents proud. However, as a result, a quick trip to the park can often become an all-day affair.

Took the 4 year old to the playground; we stayed for 45 minutes & 1,253 "Yes, I'm watching!"s long.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 10, 2017

16. Trip Planning

If you want to conduct an interesting experiment, try and let your child decide on the next family vacation destination. You might be surprised by what they come up with. Here’s a hint: it won’t be what you expect.

Best vacation destinations according to my 4-year-old:

3) McDonald's play place

2) car wash

1) sidewalk where she saw a dog that one time

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 20, 2016

17. Life Choices

It’s fascinating how kids can be very picky about certain things and carefree about others. How do they decide what is important? It doesn’t matter how many four-year-olds that we meet, we still have no idea.

For a kid who thinks cowboy boots and swim trunks are a good combination, my 4yo sure is meticulous about picking which pumpkin to take home

— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) October 12, 2017

18. Going To Bed

An all too common problem parents have is kids wanting to stay up past their bedtimes. Every once and a while, parents get lucky though. The kids put themselves to bed… in the afternoon!

Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled "FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!" So you be the judge.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 18, 2016

19. Food Combinations

Adults are careful about making sure food pairings make sense. It’s important to have vegetables, proteins, and carbs, all in one meal. Kids, on the other hand, take their favorite food and simply mix it with every dish.

4-year-old: Did you know you can put cheese on anything?

Me: What?

4: *intense whisper* ANYTHING.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2017

20. Yes Man

Four-year-olds are old enough to come up with some pretty clever arguments. You always have to be on your toes. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a situation that’s hard to back out of.

4yo: You're a good dad.
Me: Thanks.
4yo: You'd be better if you said yes more.
Me: Okay.
4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 20, 2016

21. Vacation Memories

One of the funniest parts about kids is their selective memories. Some things make a big impact on them and others don’t. It’s really hit or miss whether you make the list or not.

My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 7, 2017

22. Multitasking Skills

It’s crazy how kids can turn even the most basic chores into wild adventures. For example, brushing one’s teeth. It sounds pretty straightforward, but it’s really not.

I don't wanna say my 4yo is unfocused but this am instead of brushing his teeth he took off his underpants & slingshot them into the toilet.

— Toulouse and Tonic (@toulouseNtonic) August 18, 2016

23. Understanding Sadness

If a kid cries, it’s probably because they are tired, right? That’s what many parents suspect. However, sometimes, they are simply crying just to cry.

My 4yo is crying because someone said his green shirt was green but no he is NOT tired so don't even think it.

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) August 28, 2017

24. Sharing Food

This dad thought that his four-year-old was finally learning about sharing. Although, as it turns out, it was all just part of an elaborate prank. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

4yo: "Daddy, would you like one of my blueberries?"
Me: "Thank you for sharing! It's so good!"
4yo: "BAHAHAHAHA… I LICKED IT FIRST!!"

Oh.

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) June 26, 2016

25. Bathroom Snacking

We often forget that specific knowledge we accept as common sense is acquired over time. For example, the fact that food and bathrooms don’t mix. It’s a lesson kids have to learn through trial and error.

Just had an argument with 4yo about whether or not she can have a snack while on the toilet, in case you were wondering what kids are like.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) March 27, 2017

26. Cute Behaviors

Burping might be rude. If it’s balanced out with some kind words though, what is a parent to do? It’s a really confusing situation to be in.

My 4yo just snuggled close and said, " you're the best mom in the world." Awwwww

I mean, he totally burped in my face right afterward, but awwww.

— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) November 28, 2017

27. Loud Exclamations

One thing parents learn quickly is that kids have no filters. Kids feel no shame in blurting out things in public that they definitely shouldn’t. They will always find new and creative ways of embarrassing you.

I love my 4yo. But when she yells "mom your legs are so hairy!" in the middle of a crowded mall, I have no choice but to deny all relation.

— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) October 10, 2017

28. Style Choices

Styles change all of the time, especially among the youth. Every year, it’s time for a wardrobe update. Parents just have to sit back and smile. Otherwise, they risk being labeled as “old” and out of the loop.

4-year-old: I don't have anything to wear.

Me: You have an entire closet full of clothes.

4: I don't have any capes.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 8, 2017

29. Noisy Playing

Sometimes, the noise of kids playing sounds like blissful joy. On other occasions, it sounds like a war. How two siblings will treat each other on any given day is basically a coin flip.

Listening to a 4yo play with their little sibling is what I imagine a future dictator sounds like at that age.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 15, 2017

30. Haircut Woes

It turns out, when we get new haircuts, we like to be complimented. It’s a universal phenomenon. It doesn’t matter what age you are.

My 4yo burst into tears because no one complimented her new haircut. Shoutout to her future husband.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 31, 2017

31. Belly Warmer

Some people use the microwave when they want to warm things up. Other people use the stove. Four-year-olds though, they use their own body heat!

4-year-old: The cookies look cold. I should warm them up.

Me: You can't use the microwave.

4: I can use my belly.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2017

32. Self Trim

Almost every kid tries to cut their own hair at some point. It’s a rite of passage that every child must go to. As always, too, it’s the parents’ job to clean up the mess afterward.

If you were wondering, when your 4 year old asks you if she can cut her hair, there's a 100% chance it's because she already did.

— Courtney (@Discourt) July 6, 2016

33. Funny Reviews

Online review sites are a great invention. They allow families to check out reviews for a restaurant before going to eat there. Imagine, though, a creative version where all of the reviews are penned by four-year-olds.

Yelp, but just my 4yo reviewing floors under restaurant tables.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 30, 2017

34. Picking Favorites

It’s no surprise that kids often have a favorite family member. On the other end of the spectrum, that also means there is a least favorite. Which one are you?

With classics like "I like you, but not as much as the rest of our family," I feel our 4yo would dominate the greeting card industry.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 24, 2016

35. Creative Insults

Creativity really begins to shine when kids hit four years of age. Their jokes are better than ever and their insults sting even worse than normal. There is no telling what they will hit you with next.

My 4 year old son asked me why I was putting on makeup and I said "To make me look pretty." He replied "I don't think it's working."

— Chutup (@Chutup) September 23, 2017

36. Startling Shrieks

The sounds of a four-year-old screaming can shatter windows. That’s how loud it can get. Whether the screams are justified or not though, that’s another matter…

I thought someone had opened a portal to the underworld in my kitchen but it was just my 4yo shrieking because her brother ate the last frozen waffle.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) November 25, 2017

37. Early Risers

We’re not sure which is worse, kids that refuse to go to bed or kids that wake up at odd hours. Both provide some interesting challenges. Luckily, many parents often get to experience both situations.

At 430am I told my 4yo it was too early to be awake and then we laughed and laughed and then he put on a show and I cried into my coffee.

— Toni Hammer (@thetonihammer) October 23, 2017

38. Patient Observation

Have you ever just sat and observed a four-year-old for a while? It can be pretty funny, but also pretty frustrating. It really all depends on how you look at it.

If you ever want to see how patient you are, watch a 4 yr old try to zip up their jacket. You should be canonized for sainthood after that.

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 22, 2016

39. Level One-Hundred

This mom learned recently that there are different degrees of hugs. They exist on a scale from 1 to 100. If you have never had a level 100 hug before, you haven’t lived.

My 4yo said “I can hug you as hard as 100,” and once she did, I realized every other level of hug I’ve gotten has been bullshit.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 14, 2017

40. Yes Or No

When kids ask you for permission to get something at a store, what that really means is that if you don’t let them get it, they are going to throw a tantrum. The really isn’t any other option. If you say no, you will never hear the end of it.

4yo: Can I get a balloon? Yes or No?

Me: No.

4yo: How about we try again and this time you have to pick a different answer.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) August 5, 2020