If you feel bad for children who struggle during mealtime, imagine what a nightmare it is for their parents.
Yeah, I said it. Imagine forcing broccoli down what can only be described as a rabid dog all while they know some delicious nuggets are sitting in the freezer.
It ain’t pretty, folks.
Nonetheless, the resulting commentary that comes out of these forays into forced nutrition tends to make it all worthwhile.
At least for those who aren’t on the proverbial battlefield.
Here are 7+ utterly relatable mealtime struggle tweets.
1. Well played, soldier. Well played.
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She’s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 10, 2013
Sounds about right. Why kids try to threaten their parents we’ll never know. Perhaps there are some moms and dads who give in so easily, but not Tim here. Tim here is a champion.
2. In a nutshell…
When your kids ask what’s for dinner, the answer doesn’t matter.
They will react like you’re about to feed them marinated monkey butts.
— Elena (@ElenaChainHelp1) February 6, 2017
Unless the answer is pizza or chicken nuggets, whatever you are going to make is icky. But then again, don’t you actually feel the same way unless you are offered Taco Bell?
3. Spreading the love
7yo: I got duck poop on my hand
Me: Ok, don’t touch anything until we get home
*looks in back seat
7yo: *already eating crackers— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 11, 2017
It’s not like anyone ever died from ingesting bird feces, right? Oops! Kids can spread germs faster than someone actually trying to spread germs. They are naturals.
4. How very fruit conscious of you
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old’s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 15, 2013
Packing kids non kid-friendly food is a good way to have it return to you that afternoon. However, if you slice the apples and send caramel dip, then she’ll come back with sliced apples and no dip.
5. It’s all about priorities
Me: [hanging off side of cliff begging for help]
My kids: MOMMA CAN YOU GET US A SNACK
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
Kids are natural narcissists and that’s okay. It’s the ones who don’t grow out of it that we worry about. Kids asking for a snack while you’re having contractions or laying on the floor with a broken hip, that’s normal.
6. Definitely possible. Not ideal.
Before I had kids, I didn’t even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2014
Whether it’s a single block of packing foam or a pack of goldfish snacks, your kid will find a way to make sure it touches every room in the entire house. So be on the lookout.
7. The double agent
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night
— sharon 💋 (@rubywoo09) April 1, 2015
So, this happens far too often after Halloween. Moms and dads get to craving something sweet after their tyrants have gone to bed. And what do you do if the only candy is in their room?
8. This happens if parents aren’t careful
I just ate some half-chewed food my son spit onto his plate. Parenting has reduced me to some kind of disgusting bird-man. DON’T LOOK AT ME!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 17, 2015
This is disgusting, it’s true. You probably haven’t done this, but you definitely have crossed the line as a parent if you have.
Things you promised you’d never do happen every single day.
9. Something tells me they knew it wouldn’t.
6yo: I need to fart
Me: No, we’re eating
6yo: Ok, I’ll just hold it in with my hand
*Farts
6yo: It didn’t work— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 20, 2016
Some kids really do try. Even if it is to hold the flatulence off until after dinner. But of course, it won’t work. Might as well smell your hand afterward, you know he’s going to.
10. Not even a favor. That’s totally how it happened.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
If my 5 year old asks, George Washington died because he wouldn’t eat his broccoli. Back me up on this, I don’t ask for much.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 13, 2015
Play along. George Washington died far younger than he should of just because he refused to eat his broccoli and only wanted chicken nuggets and ice cream. The poor president.
Care to see more hilarious tweets from parents doing mealtime battle with their kids?
Check out these 75 hilarious parental tweets!
