Parenthood
Couple who struggled to have children adopt 3 white kids and say families don’t have to match
The Hamms have a very loving family. Even if they don't all look alike.
D.G. Sciortino
06.07.22

Tierra and Patrick Hamm tried for years to get pregnant.

Tierra always knew she wanted to be a mom.

But after years of negative pregnancy tests and failed intrauterine insemination (IUI), she wasn’t sure if it was in the cards.

While Tierra and Patrick talked about adopting they never really imagined that it was something that they would end up doing.

But when a friend of theirs kept bringing up the issue of fostering, the couple finally lent their ear.

“Our state needs more good foster homes. Children are sleeping in hotel rooms right now,” their friend told them.

After their talk, Tierra was “100% on board” with fostering.

The Hamms were licensed to adopt in June 2017. By July, they got a call from the placement desk.

@ourmatchedhearts I know I am not the only parent who tourtures themselves with going through old videos and photos! Judah was so little! #parentsoftiktok #adoption ♬ original sound – Mamasblissxo

“The social worker on the phone said, ‘She’s very shy and she has attachment issues.’ She paused for a second and then said, ‘She’s white. Is that okay?’ Without hesitating, my husband said, ‘She needs a home, right? Her race is not relevant,” said Tierra.

@ourmatchedhearts Happy Birthday baby girl!!! Mommy loves you so much! #GetCrocd #GoForTheHandful #fyp #adoptionrocks #transracialadoption ♬ Godspeed – James Blake

This poor little girl cried for almost 24 hours upon her arrival leaving Tierra emotionally drained.

It was a difficult adjustment period but after a while, the little girl named Felicity started calling her foster parents Mommy and Daddy.

“At that moment, I knew we made the right decision,” Tierra said.

About nine months later, the Hamms decided to foster another child.

This time they took in a 5-day-old baby named Samuel. It wasn’t long after that when Tierra learned that Samuel’s birth mom was pregnant again.

She decided she would take in that child too and had nine months to prepare.

“The moment I saw his picture, I fell in love. He was almost placed with another family. We fought so hard for him and 7 days later, he was home with us. Within a year and a half, I became a mom to three kids, all under 2 years old. The boys are 10 months and 15 days apart. I wouldn’t have changed it for anything,” Tierra said.

@ourmatchedhearts“Youre precious” a child after my own heart! Love beibg Felicity, Samuel and judahs mama!♬ original sound – Mamasblissxo

The fact that The Hamm family looks a lot different than they imagined it would doesn’t dull the familial bond of love.

“Our skin may not match, but you cannot tell me or my kids we aren’t a family. We live in a predominately white community and we have not faced any hardships or racism, which I am so thankful for,” Tierra said. “Families do not have to match. As our kids get older, we are discussing race/color more and more. The kids know our skin is different but it doesn’t matter to them. Though we haven’t faced racism, we do get the stares, especially when the kids are yelling ‘mommy and daddy.”

According to Tierra’s TikTok page she and Patrick, who’ve been together since they were 18, have since divorced and are planning to marry new partners. However, they are both committed to co-parenting and caring for their foster children.

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By D.G. Sciortino
hi@sbly.com
D.G. is a contributing writer in Shareably. She's based in Connecticut and can be reached at hi@shareably.net.
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