Scammers – we all know them. Whether they bug us via phone or via email – they just seem to get sneakier with their tactics.
In the day and age where everything is “plugged in“, and day-to-day business is conducted through laptops, iPads, and smartphones, it’s virtually impossible not to open up a scammer’s email.
Equally prevalent to online scams though are internet trolls…and the combination of the two can be hilarious!
Such is the case with Tom Sheerin, a nursing assistant at the Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust in Liverpool, England.
On July 22nd, Sheerin received an unsolicited message via Facebook Messenger from a man who called himself Michael Austin.
According to Austin, the CEO of Facebook had requested him to contact Sheerin about “important information” regarding his account.
That’s when things began to get interesting. As Sheerin explains on his FB post, he was having “a little fun”.
“Decided to have a little fun with someone trying to scam me on facebook, kept him busy for about two hours.”
The scammer seems to think that Sheerin is a sure bet, so he goes into his cookie-cutter spiel.
He tells Sheerin he had been randomly selected to win $1.2 million bucks, with a brand new Jeep thrown in, just for good measure!
All the poor chap has to do is follow his “rules and regulations” without question. The scammer even sends Sheerin a pic of a crappy box brimming over with loads of cash.
The scammer then shoots over a photo of Facebook’s “official” letter from the CEO, stating that this particular scam is not, well…a scam!
This is when Sheerin goes into straight-up TROLL mode!
He’s definitely interested in receiving his prize money, but he’s got his hookers to think about…and their dental bills.
Sheerin asks the scammer if FedEx will take these concerns into consideration on delivery.
You would think that, if the scammer has any common sense at all, he would know that he was being trolled.
Then again, neighbors helping prostitutes out with their prize money is pretty cool and seems totally legit, right?
After all, the scammer doesn’t want to ditch his connection to the hookers either.
Just when it starts to look like the scammer is getting suspicious, Austin apparently decides it’s more likely that he is dealing with the world’s dumbest online victim.
You can tell he’s thinking easy money is on the way.
The internet trickster made sure to let Sheerin know that he did not need to contact FedEx personally.
After all, the unsavory cheat doesn’t want Sheerin to pull the strings closed on his money bag if he finds out he’s being taken.
At the first sign that Sheerin might reach out to a third party, the scammer implies that the “winnings” will be rescinded.
Sheerin amusingly tells the swindler that he really needs the money for an operation on his piles, and he’s willing to pay the delivery fee with his Tesco Clubcard!
It’s a hard “No” from the irritated Mr. Austin, as the delivery fee happens to be $500 cash.
Hilariously, Sheerin agrees to this amount but wants to know if £5.00 notes will suffice.
He explains that the money is in fives because it’s his birthday money from his multiple grandmas!
After determining the fee would have to be wired via the nearest Western Union, Sheerin tells him he’s going to head right over to it in the Dolorean.
Of course, he has to pick up his buddy Biff along the way!
The scammer didn’t like the sound of Biff and sent a strong warning message, making it clear that if Sheerin told anyone about his winnings, he would be forfeiting his money.
Sheerin reassured him, saying he can keep a secret.
To eat up a bit more of the thief’s time, Sheerin tells him he got turned around and wanted to grab a beer along the way.
After requesting a second time if he could pay via PayPal only to be told it must be cash, Austin warns Sheerin again that he can under no circumstances inform anyone.
So you can imagine how pissed the troller was when Sheerin told him he informed the local newspaper!
It looks, almost, as if the cretin’s had enough…
After harassing the scammer a bit, Sheerin gets him on the hook by saying that he’s ready to wire the money.
In Vietnamese Dong!
The second Sheerin said he was ready to pay, the scammer “decided” not to cancel his big win so long as he paid in pounds instead of dong.
That’s when Sheerin asked if the price could be negotiated because he was having a real issue with his lunchmeat.
In response, what has to be the world’s dumbest criminal asked how much money Sheerin had on him. On finding out that he had less than $30 bucks to his name, the scammer actually prompted Sheerin to request a loan.
Sheerin was down for this idea but would need a cosigner, and thought Austin would be a great fit.
As expected, the scammer turned down the offer but suggested Sheerin borrow money from a friend, possibly even from Biff!
Sheerin was all for it, so long as Austin made the call because he already owes Biff so much money.
Believe it or not, it seems the scammer actually agrees to this!
Not wanting his scam-artist companion to get bored, he sends him a pic of a drawing by his son, and the scammer was really impressed with it!
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Apparently, the scammer finally got the hint and called the con quits!
Thanks to Sheerin that’s one less scammer hunting the web for a couple hours, and we give him a big hats-off for that!