Being a parent of a teenager isn’t easy.
Kids are experimenting with drugs, sex, and other things at earlier ages than ever, and thanks to social media and technology, they can do it without their parents even knowing it. Even parents who do keep close tabs on their children may not realize or notice what is going on right under their noses. It’s time to wake up, folks: Kids are doing awful things online, and you probably don’t even realize it.
A teacher named Skipper Coates of Pleasant Grove, Utah, recently submitted a story to Love What Matters, and it’s pretty shocking.
Coates is a middle school teacher and has been teaching for about ten years. She recently asked her students to finish the sentence, “What my parents don’t know about social media is…” The students were honest, and Coates was shocked at what she read. She shared this story, saying:
“Working in a Junior High is really interesting. I see these little people in their most awkward and most emotional stage of life. I teach them science, but when I have time I try to squeeze in some life lessons and mentoring. But it doesn’t work if I’m not willing to really hear and understand their situations and problems. Lately, I’ve been really concerned about their mental health, bullying, and social media use.
“Today I asked three of my classes to finish this sentence: ‘What my parents don’t know about social media is…’”
“You guys. The answers were SICKENING. Heartbreaking. Depressing.
“I asked 85 ninth-graders (ages 14-15) to finish the sentence. FIVE said they don’t have social media accounts. Five. All 85 kids have an average academic grade of an ‘A’… by all accounts, they are ‘good kids.’ Here are the common things confessed by the 80 kids with social media accounts.”
She went on to say,
“My husband is a Doctor of Behavioral Health, and I’ve often had talks with him about the increased use of social media in the classroom. For the first few years, it seemed pretty harmless. But it slowly became a tool for kids to do the things they’ve always done. There have always been bullies, there have always been promiscuous teens, and there have always been those on the fringe who experiment with drugs. Social media quickly became a platform for all of this though. What could once be done privately, after school, is now happening before, during, after school, and in the middle of the night, and it’s being broadcast to an audience that doesn’t understand long-term consequences. In our family, we have an 11-year-old, and I’ve gone back and forth on how much technology we’re going to allow in his life.”
Her experiment opened her eyes to how serious things are with young teens these days.
These kids aren’t even in high school and are already experimenting with dangerous things. The teacher added:
“I decided that it would be interesting to ask the teens in my classroom what they thought about putting social media into my child’s hands. I wanted them to give me the honest truth, so I promised them complete anonymity if they would be willing to finish the sentence, ‘What my parents don’t know about social media is…’ I had no idea they were going to be so honest.”
She was shocked at how many kids were doing these things and not the least bit nervous to share it.
They almost seemed like they were proud of the fact that they were doing these things and getting away with them. Coates didn’t want to give out the names of the kids, but she knew their parents needed to know what their kids were doing online.
She continued:
“Out of the 85 kids who answered, about 70 of them admitted to keeping some kind of social media secret from their parents. It crushed me.
“I decided to share the information because I believe we are on the brink of a serious mental-health crisis with this generation. They carry these heavy secrets that come with deep emotions but aren’t learning the appropriate outlets for that emotion, and they aren’t learning how to get secrets off their chests. I’ve been in the classroom for the introduction of Pinterest, SnapChat, Instagram, and Facebook Messenger. As I’ve watched this technology change I’ve seen a direct correlation to the happiness of the kids in my classes.”
So, what did she take away from the experiment, and what did she want parents to know?
“I took away two big ideas after I read their responses:
“1) This is a problem that can’t be solved with more technology. We have to give them credit and recognize that they are incredibly clever when it comes to social media, and
“2) No more talking about the dangers of social media. Just start talking. Period. These kids are looking for emotional outlets…for people who will not judge them when they make mistakes. We need to put down our own phones long enough to build face-to-face relationships, so our kids don’t need to seek validation from peers and strangers.”
“Parents of the world, WAKE. UP. Your kids are living in a world that you are not invited to be part of. And they know how to keep you out. Your teenager DOES NOT NEED a smart phone.
“I LOVE these teenage people. It is easy to be critical of the kids, of the parents, and of me. Let’s use this as an opportunity to show my students good digital citizenship. Be kind. Have compassion. In the coming days, I will be working closely with my school, community, and local therapists to learn more about how we can help.”
Hopefully, parents will see this story and pay better attention to their teens.
Even talking to teenagers about the dangers of these things may stop them from doing them. Limiting and monitoring online time is another option. Technology isn’t always a good thing, and it could be ruining the lives of our teenagers.
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